Intimacy: Smooth talking

Smooth talking

By ...thanks honey - 18/08/2010 06:23 - United States

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 621

You deserved it 15 055

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 932

You deserved it 7 677

Classic dude moment

By Two hundred down - 06/08/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband hasn’t touched me in ages. I bought sexy lingerie and walked around the house in them. My husband wouldn’t budge. When I asked him why he didn't want to get physical, he told me, “You want me to be honest? Do some sit ups and butt squats, then I’ll be all over you like cheese on macaroni.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 278

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 247

You deserved it 7 782

OCD

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 13:53 - Australia

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 523

You deserved it 5 760

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 309

You deserved it 4 750

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 3 573

It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 4 109

By Desertdryspell - 20/12/2018 14:00

Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 568

You deserved it 241

Meh

By Meh - 18/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 139

You deserved it 8 548

Belly Finger

By ihmmil - 18/01/2020 14:00

Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 325

briannak91 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 16:07

:( you poor thing.

KVKdragon 26

Wednesday 18 August 2010 16:07

comments like that make me wonder why men say that. does the man want sex or not?

Comments

lexiluvchica 4

Saturday 20 November 2010 9:44

wow reading more and more if these FML's and I'm realizing guys are honest shallow jackasses...u r probably beautiful btw

pacmanmonster 0

Monday 22 November 2010 20:16

Aww. I'm sorry. that sucks. I love chubby tummies.

Karnezar 2

Sunday 9 January 2011 18:18

How come when a girl makes fun of a guys penis it's a joke, but when a guy makes fun of a girls weight it's a means for divorce/break-up? :S

djinnyf 12

Thursday 21 March 2013 6:01

It's not right either... Why does someone always have to compare and play victim??!!

monsterbunny09 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 13:21

What a jackass!!

bigbadblackman 2

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:54

DAMN!

veedub94 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 18:43

that's f'd what a Dick he could at least show u some damn respect ya kno

LittleMissBroken 11

Tuesday 31 May 2011 19:03

divorce?

mattbrister 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 21:22

ab ripper x

keechigai 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 11:02

ouch :(

Perci 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 21:44

Wow. Well if she were very pregnant, I could see him saying that like "Ugh, I don't want to stick my penis in there and poke my baby in the head." Otherwise, withold sex until he changes his attitude!