Accident, Awkward, Baths and Animals: Sneaky boy

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 994

You deserved it 3 878

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Same thing different taste

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 165

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 215

You deserved it 13 732

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

Keeping warm

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 300

By bubbles - 12/10/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 000

You deserved it 55 687

Nutritious

By Anonymous - 19/07/2020 17:01

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 277

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 269

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 9 125

Jakk100 20

Saturday 29 August 2015 7:32

Picturing a dog holding a hose and bathing a human is something permanently burned into my memory now. Thank you for that!

missbrit818 20

Saturday 29 August 2015 7:30

Dog-1 Human-0

Comments

BrassWing13 11

Saturday 29 August 2015 19:21

You kinda sign up for that when you get a dog

lovelybroccoli 9

Saturday 29 August 2015 19:55

The thing is, my dog loves baths, just not when I'm bathing him.

memed_fml 17

Saturday 29 August 2015 21:46

In mother Russia, dog clean you.

HeManPc 5

Saturday 29 August 2015 23:21

At least your dog cares about you staying clean.

ChopSuey444 20

Sunday 30 August 2015 4:49

Oh no. You got wet. **** your life. *Sarcastically excits stupid "fml"*

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

The Top

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 799

You deserved it 4 219

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 246

You deserved it 114 130

Today, I had to clean up dirt from flipped-over flowerpot mess for the 100th time. Why? Because the neighbour won’t stop feeding the squirrels peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 213

Today, my friend asked me to send her a picture of my crush. I've never talked to him so I had to take the picture without him knowing. My flash was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 4 023

Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 272

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 031

You deserved it 6 985