Animals: Sorry Stuart…

Sorry Stuart…

By connor1701 - 27/02/2017 20:00

Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 363

You deserved it 646

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 146

You deserved it 1 083

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 642

You deserved it 3 729

By killer - 17/07/2010 14:54 - United States

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 838

You deserved it 8 117

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Sorry Mr Nibbles

By JustMyLuck - 06/09/2009 01:31 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 010

You deserved it 52 248

Sobering

By TheLivingDeadTree - 19/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 106

Spooky

By mike - 11/03/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 7 162

By GrahamCracker - 21/05/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 669

You deserved it 8 944

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

By AquaKelly - 24/12/2014 01:48 - United States - Newark

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 823

You deserved it 4 763

dabomsht123 3

Monday 27 February 2017 20:12

Poor mouse!! That's a rough way to be woke up!! Imagine if a giant hand squeezed u while u were sleeping in a warm dark place. Lol

jdogg1971 0

Monday 27 February 2017 20:05

Go to a doctor it might carry a disease

Comments

mackdeezy 22

Monday 27 February 2017 20:01

If you woke me up in such a way, I'm not sure I'd bite you, but I would hurt you.

jdogg1971 0

Monday 27 February 2017 20:05

Go to a doctor it might carry a disease

bahamit 18

Monday 27 February 2017 21:13

Hps is a bad one carried by mice, can be fatal, go get checked, have blood work done... definitely get checked...

dabomsht123 3

Monday 27 February 2017 20:12

Poor mouse!! That's a rough way to be woke up!! Imagine if a giant hand squeezed u while u were sleeping in a warm dark place. Lol

s2kname 9

Monday 27 February 2017 21:02

well it sounds a lot like a ****** so pretty happy is my answer

Mooglefox 23

Monday 27 February 2017 20:32

AlwYs knew Mickey was a bitter.

Cali 54

Tuesday 28 February 2017 17:57

Walt Disney never gave him fair compensation! And don't even get me started on Jerry...

jcash52426 5

Monday 27 February 2017 20:38

What did you think was in your pocket that you were squeezing?

cakefete2 30

Monday 27 February 2017 20:53

Mickey Mouse made a squeaky clean get away. At least you have good taste in outerwear.

Hippo_Holiday 19

Tuesday 28 February 2017 3:05

And do I get to tend the rabbits? Yes lennie ya do.

emischeve 12

Friday 3 March 2017 4:43

The end to that was so sad

Unfuckwittable 2

Wednesday 1 March 2017 11:09

You must be filthy to have rat in your clothes

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The Top

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 95

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 516

The Top

Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 112

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 680

You deserved it 14 682

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 059

You deserved it 5 388

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 3 131

Today, I went on my first date in a year with a guy I met just a couple hours ago. I went back to my hotel to get better dressed and met him at the bar. I brought my purse, he brought his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 348

Today, getting ready to go out, I turned on my straightener. After 5 minutes, I start straightening one big strand when I realize I'm smelting plastic into my hair. Turns out I'd left it on a plastic box. Of course, plastic never comes out, so I had to cut it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 213

You deserved it 2 142