Intimacy: Superfuzz Big Muff - FML

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 9 534

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 753

You deserved it 8 003

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 838

You deserved it 8 748

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497

You deserved it 5 019

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Spicy

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 25 776

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 837

You deserved it 4 637

Turn me on

By shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 22 234

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 01:37 - United States - Duarte

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 364

You deserved it 4 886

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Sunday 5 December 2010 19:56

You poor thing. Your funny boyfriend made a joke before pleasuring you. My heart weeps for you. ******* stuck up princess ass clown.

TNB_xACiDiC 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 20:08

i did the same thing, my girl laughed;p

Comments

rkcraig53 0

Monday 6 December 2010 17:48

WASH THAT THING!

RamziTheAwesome 0

Monday 6 December 2010 19:12

Thts so funny!! why would u even care if he said tht he just wanted to funny :)

yay4u 5

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:30

I did that once lol jk I'm a virgin

GiRDEELU 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 18:06

thanks for telling da world honey xD

GiRDEELU 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 18:04

xD! thats funny :3

wriptidez 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 0:55

ewww im throwing up

moviefan92 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 3:42

hahaha that's the funniest thing eever! XD it's good to have a humor in bed! i hope you laughed at him and let him continue! :D little jealous now ;)

doubledamn89 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 22:28

1. you either have a ****** that makes osama bin ladens beard look like a babys first hair; 2. it smells like mustard gas and tastes 5 times worse; or 3. he was making a joke with your robotic, no emotion and no sense of humor ass so you need to laugh, let him pleasure you and make a joke about him...that's what us grown-ups call "being in a relationship". so effing suck it up.

AceArctic 4

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:29

At least he's going down on you in the first place. Most guy wouldn't so feel licky. (That typo is there for a reason spelling Nazis)

ANGfilmz 0

Friday 10 December 2010 4:20

lol lil Wayne song!

justbigbs 6

Wednesday 15 December 2010 3:06

wash that box woman, so the the both of you can enjoy, not just YOU

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Keywords

My ex Love Awkward Jealousy AITA Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Relatable Money Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, my husband had a colonoscopy. Having spent yesterday hearing him complain about having only clear liquids and having to drink the required solution, he still was not cleaned out. We have to reschedule with two days of clear liquids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 114

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 584

You deserved it 21 180

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 8 697

Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 154

You deserved it 11 478

Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 950

You deserved it 2 570

Today, I tried not drinking water for a few hours before bed, because I hate waking up and having to pee. I woke up feeling gross and dehydrated instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 316