Intimacy: Superfuzz Big Muff

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 9 534

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 753

You deserved it 8 003

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 838

You deserved it 8 748

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497

You deserved it 5 019

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 25 776

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 837

You deserved it 4 637

Turn me on

By shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 22 234

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 01:37 - United States - Duarte

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 364

You deserved it 4 886

DocBastard 38

Sunday 5 December 2010 19:56

You poor thing. Your funny boyfriend made a joke before pleasuring you. My heart weeps for you. ******* stuck up princess ass clown.

TNB_xACiDiC 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 20:08

i did the same thing, my girl laughed;p

Comments

pannic 0

Monday 6 December 2010 5:22

ha lol maybe you were so wet it felt like taking a plunge. :)

erica08 0

Monday 6 December 2010 6:09

Lmao! Have a sense of humor OP!

ALBATROSS9080 0

Monday 6 December 2010 6:12

no girls on this site can take a ******* joke

Thale_fml 8

Monday 6 December 2010 12:25

I agree.

kreally 0

Monday 6 December 2010 6:37

The guy's going down on you. Quit complaining!

bratwa 0

Monday 6 December 2010 8:51

Totally agree!

Ritenouahh 0

Monday 6 December 2010 7:11

YDI for having a blue waffle.

cerealninja 0

Friday 31 December 2010 9:29

hahahaha

Bob65803 0

Monday 6 December 2010 7:11

Make sure you don't give him a reason to hold his breath

RayeofSunshine 0

Monday 6 December 2010 7:14

Consider yourself lucky...at least he's going down on you.

Kaneila0517 0

Monday 6 December 2010 7:17

did he use lil wayne's voice??

jonathanpwns 0

Monday 6 December 2010 8:50

Does he role play with the condom when he has sex with you also? Dick talking to condom "Cover me I'm going in!"

ChibiGirl5 0

Monday 6 December 2010 9:13

I think she's upset cause it's like she smells or something

Keywords

My ex Love Awkward Jealousy AITA Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Relatable Money Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 728

You deserved it 3 345

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 620

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I restarted my PC a few times because of a little clicking noise coming from the direction of the tower. No, my hard drive wasn't doing a death rattle, it was music coming from ear buds lying beside said tower on the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 822

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 36 310

You deserved it 4 317

Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 2 921

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 892

You deserved it 12 694