Intimacy: Sweet talker - FML

Sweet talker

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 13:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 361

You deserved it 12 922

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By 2ndchoice - 12/12/2009 15:47 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 027

You deserved it 2 948

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

By robm - 26/07/2010 20:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 431

You deserved it 4 672

So hard

By JessicaandGhazi - 09/06/2020 08:04

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed after having sex. I commented on him still having an erection after having an orgasm. He said it happens whenever he has a strong orgasm. Then he added, "And surprisingly, I was even thinking about you when it happened." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 658

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 02:16 - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 7 246

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 979

You deserved it 13 039

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 415

You deserved it 10 013

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 218

You deserved it 8 725

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 5 665

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 4 607

Next

Top comments

Nurisaintlucy 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 18:44

This is a compliment, usually if a guy didn't care about you he wouldn't stay for the cuddling

skitzofreniks 5

Thursday 21 April 2011 18:54

the sooner you understand a guys compliments, the longer you stay in a relationship with us.

Comments

m0tl3ycru3 0

Friday 22 April 2011 9:12

he freakin burned you!

Chazy2010 8

Friday 22 April 2011 9:57

this isnt worth a FML. you should hav put this on Gives Me Hope

Dudddde_fml 4

Friday 22 April 2011 15:43

It is a compliment.

MagnumForse71 0

Friday 22 April 2011 15:47

hahaha thats true love right there cuz i know after i cum i dont even want the girl in the same building as me cuz i can finally think with my brain and not my dick so i realize how ******* stupid and annoyin she is=P u must be a real keeper/cool chick for him to say that=D keep up the goood work lol

hallkchallkc 4

Friday 22 April 2011 16:14

it is. ur a ra-tard.

dawn2011 4

Friday 22 April 2011 16:49

I use to be afraid that my bf would leave after our first time. we've been together now for 6 years on and off. now we are engaged. :-))

blackirises 0

Friday 22 April 2011 17:05

maybe because I'm a guy but I don't get it...

jordanlite 16

Friday 22 April 2011 17:08

Compliments are often few and far between. Just accept what few are given.

dacho 7

Friday 22 April 2011 17:10

it is.

bjbthe1 1

Friday 22 April 2011 17:30

That is actually a huge compliment! That's how I know I care about a woman.

8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 3 398

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 013

You deserved it 22 550

Today, I opened the door to a delivery girl with a towel around my waist as I was just out of the shower. My dog was going crazy at the courier, and when she handed me the touchpad to sign for the package, my dog decided it would be a good idea to pull my towel off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 277

You deserved it 1 165

Today, a client hung up on me after calling me "Miss Proper" because I spoke too "clearly" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 65

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 177

You deserved it 6 147

Today, I found a necklace on Marketplace identical to one my wife lost years ago, so I agreed on a price and drove over to get it for Christmas. There was no necklace and I now know that prostitutes will pretend to sell an item they’re photographed wearing, when in fact they are selling themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 143

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 086

You deserved it 7 728