Sex, Relatable, Pervert and Intimacy: Taking it too far - FML

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 665

You deserved it 56 817

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By virginat16 - 14/12/2010 11:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 219

You deserved it 7 794

LEAVE ME ALONE

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 564

You deserved it 2 028

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Spicy

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 3 889

By Somessedup - 09/09/2009 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 114

You deserved it 4 623

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 51 001

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 690

You deserved it 4 014

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 29 579

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 698

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 980

You deserved it 7 874

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Spicy

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 033

Next

Top comments

bhangu023 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Pervert

L_Lovegood 19

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:09

This is more of a "WTF" than an "FML", I think ^^

Comments

apologeticapostr 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:16

Whoa, you must be into some f*cked up stuff

BetterThings 1

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:09

then go apply for a job on the line. apparently whoever called u a pervert thinks uve got wat it takes

Humanspider 18

Monday 12 December 2011 11:38

Oh the possibilities of what was said during that conversation are endless. How dirty do you have to go for a phone sex operator to call you a pervert?

souljacker 11

Thursday 13 September 2012 1:28

That is an exceptional achievement. Well done!

melkymac101 17

Sunday 23 December 2012 5:14

Go get laid. Stop using phone sex. U r a pevert.

BishopKoshy 10

Tuesday 23 September 2014 5:39

While others are saying you are perverted i'm thinking: " What did you do?"

SiraSiemens 21

Friday 22 April 2016 14:59

what the hell did you tell her??? or was she like new to the job? xD

burnforeternity 30

Sunday 28 August 2016 2:26

What did you do?

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Exhausted Intimacy Sex Money

The Top

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 594

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 563

You deserved it 6 014

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 205

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 122

You deserved it 2 676

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 891

You deserved it 4 019

Today, they played Nickelback at our school dance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 352

You deserved it 1 487