Sex, Relatable, Pervert and Intimacy: Taking it too far - FML

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 56 808

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Same thing different taste

By virginat16 - 14/12/2010 11:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 216

You deserved it 7 793

LEAVE ME ALONE

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 559

You deserved it 2 026

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Spicy

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 748

You deserved it 3 889

By Somessedup - 09/09/2009 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 109

You deserved it 4 623

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 50 995

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 683

You deserved it 4 014

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 255

You deserved it 29 572

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 694

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 974

You deserved it 7 874

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Spicy

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 2 017

Next

Top comments

bhangu023 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Pervert

L_Lovegood 19

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:09

This is more of a "WTF" than an "FML", I think ^^

Comments

apologeticapostr 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:16

Whoa, you must be into some f*cked up stuff

BetterThings 1

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:09

then go apply for a job on the line. apparently whoever called u a pervert thinks uve got wat it takes

Humanspider 18

Monday 12 December 2011 11:38

Oh the possibilities of what was said during that conversation are endless. How dirty do you have to go for a phone sex operator to call you a pervert?

souljacker 11

Thursday 13 September 2012 1:28

That is an exceptional achievement. Well done!

melkymac101 17

Sunday 23 December 2012 5:14

Go get laid. Stop using phone sex. U r a pevert.

BishopKoshy 10

Tuesday 23 September 2014 5:39

While others are saying you are perverted i'm thinking: " What did you do?"

SiraSiemens 21

Friday 22 April 2016 14:59

what the hell did you tell her??? or was she like new to the job? xD

burnforeternity 30

Sunday 28 August 2016 2:26

What did you do?

Keywords

Love Cute Surprise My ex Texting Awkward Wanker Sex Intimacy Insomnia Health Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Kids Parents Weekend Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Cats

The Top

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 272

You deserved it 20 888

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 765

You deserved it 5 711

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 105

You deserved it 5 160

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 11 252

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 836

You deserved it 35 554

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 540

You deserved it 62 307

Today, I spent yet another lunch venting to my best friend about how much I hate my teenage son's girlfriend, thinking he should be with someone less outspoken. Apparently she got tired of listening because she eventually snapped, "Oh for god's sake, just admit you want to fuck your son already!" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 1 188