Intimacy: Teaching moment

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Teaching moment

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 381

You deserved it 29 719

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By aranya - 14/06/2012 22:51 - Netherlands - Hengevelde

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 833

You deserved it 3 892

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 239

You deserved it 5 915

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 754

You deserved it 8 500

In transit

By Kens - 20/05/2009 00:51 - Canada

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 363

You deserved it 107 143

By HouseMdFangirl - 10/08/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 766

You deserved it 58 410

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 041

You deserved it 4 687

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 693

You deserved it 30 713

I'm not the main character in this scene

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 00:00 - Norway

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 121

Betrayal

By frankfukhergood - 09/07/2009 05:49 - Canada

Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 125

You deserved it 3 354

Shut up

By anon - 04/05/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 768

You deserved it 105 117

Fedor_is_KING 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:04

Well, did you pick up any tips?

txdiva 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:04

Did learn anything??!!!

Comments

AndyTwin2 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:51

that's so not cool..

hedgerow 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:54

he probably didn't imply you suck at BJs. just to be sure, try harder and more often, lol

sparkey0127 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:56

bahaha you suck at sucking

Ecnassianer 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:04

YDI for not giving good blow jobs.

Ecnassianer 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:07

Aw man, 42 already said that. Never mind.

BooHaUrScared 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:07

NO CELL PHONES IN THE MOVIE THEATER!!!!!!!!!

sxychik 4

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:20

haha

ksharp 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:08

ahahaha win

razorp 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:12

heres a tip, more tongue less teeth

Basballplaya16 4

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:30

well I guess u suck well I guess u don't but then again you do just your not food at it. hope you learned something.

cabbagez 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:41

... WAT

lovemycowboys 3

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:32

sounds like something DH would say! lol

ChopGoneWild 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:40

apparently u are not satisfying him

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The Top

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 365

You deserved it 57 669

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 069

You deserved it 69 493

The Top

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 556

You deserved it 18 499

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 069

You deserved it 4 231

Today, after not having coffee for ages, I finally remembered why I stopped drinking it. I literally just shit my pants, and I’m about to start a ten-hour day with 27 fifth graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 284

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 009

You deserved it 3 098

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 336

You deserved it 8 053

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 788

You deserved it 28 537