Sex and Intimacy: Technique - FML

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 674

You deserved it 4 301

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sexy times

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 346

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 422

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 526

You deserved it 6 692

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 6 490

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 3 857

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 335

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 4 442

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 111

By serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 158

You deserved it 7 034

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 249

You deserved it 325

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

MissErikaHart 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:50

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"

Comments

suckmysarcasm 10

Monday 8 November 2010 3:12

its no a problem unless he starts screaming yabba dabba doo when he cums.

Blooregard86 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:25

better than nothing.

Concray 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 20:27

At least it isn't the opposite...

CheapGodiva 0

Monday 4 April 2011 7:32

So dump him.

jadejazmyn 5

Wednesday 15 June 2011 4:21

Get a new boy friend!

mkmorgan30 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 2:18

I don't get how guys cum so fast? I'm a guy and my first time I lasted somewhere between 45-60 mins

jmypetersen 2

Tuesday 11 October 2011 5:41

#124 - ima call bullshit

jdh1997 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 21:03

That is freakin hilarious

littlexlune 16

Thursday 29 August 2013 17:35

Compromise.

poor_gurll1198 17

Wednesday 9 April 2014 21:13

Put on the flinstones so he can make your bed rock

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 18 June 2014 6:44

It works right? Still I hope he doesn't have to in the future

5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Coworkers Work Dogs Animals Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Art Videos Love Awkward Health Money Scams My ex Sex Family Healthy Lifestyle AITA Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Social Media Friends

The Top

Today, the host family that I'm staying with in China gave me a small milk box to drink. It tasted a bit tangy and sour, but I thought that was probably just the taste of milk in China. Trying to be polite, I practically chugged the whole box. Later, I found out that it had expired 20 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 372

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 317

You deserved it 4 939

The Top

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 869

You deserved it 2 626

Today, I paid $2300 to a mechanic for fixing my car. It's also the day I got into an accident and totalled said car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 176

Today, I went to the salon to get some acrylics done. They increased the prices recently and it was more expensive than expected. I didn’t have enough money in my account to cover the service, so I planned on running out when I had the chance. I ended up running out only to faceplant in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 477

Today, I was dumped once again, all because I had to cancel a date due to a fibromyalgia flare up that confined me to bed for a few days. This happens with every guy I get close to. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t even bother dating, and that I’ll be alone with my cats forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 172

Today, my son came home saying there had been a bad accident where two people died in a crash. This sounded terrible but he then said, "Yeah, I took pictures. Wanna see the bodies? They’re disgusting." Everyone in the house except me jumped up to look at those poor dead people. I raised savages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 135

Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 723