Miscellaneous, Friends and Homeowners: Thanks, I guess…

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 747

You deserved it 3 563

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/04/2014 02:46 - United States

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 227

You deserved it 5 520

By Bwberry - 29/11/2017 19:00

Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 244

You deserved it 467

DIY FML

By ko. - 03/01/2015 17:53

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 181

You deserved it 9 736

By Anonymous - 14/10/2012 17:03 - Estonia

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 8 672

Anger management

By truecountrybitch - 09/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement, for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 231

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 531

Step by step

By IKEA SUCKS - 22/11/2023 16:00

Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that boasted "easy, step-by-step instructions." Three hours later, surrounded by mismatched screws and a confusing diagram, I realized the only thing "easy" about it was my decision to ask my dad to come round and assemble it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 418

By ypsitucky - 26/07/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 3 032

Hi-Di-Hi!

By Jeff Turner - 20/12/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, I was preparing to leave my campsite when I noticed that my neighbors were trying to put up a canopy. I walked over and said, "Do you need a hand?" Then I noticed the man had a prosthetic hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 158

By kacie smith - 16/09/2012 12:36 - United States - Youngsville

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 712

You deserved it 3 735

10nachoman10 24

Wednesday 11 September 2013 15:58

How unfortunate, although they were trying to help, perhaps a professional was need!

Ian7890 23

Wednesday 11 September 2013 15:58

Hey at least you have some good friends that actually tried to do something nice for you.

Comments

lb0812 18

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:02

Well considering most FMLs featuring boyfriends & best friends while the girlfriend is away, end in the bedroom, I'd say you lucked out since they only made it to the porch :)

ShittyBikes 6

Thursday 12 September 2013 7:25

Maybe we know how the porch got messed up....

ShyAnn29 14

Thursday 12 September 2013 12:45

Maybe the porch is the new 'hot' spot, I mean a bedroom is so last year!!

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:02

It's a modern art project, you neanderthal. I hope you weren't planning on using that door, it's just the price you pay for high art.

catsie_fml 14

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:04

At least they actually assembled a front porch instead of hooking up!

jw90 18

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:08

Hey they tried, but be honest with them and maybe hire a professional to come show them what to do.

perdix 29

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:12

Maybe they're trying to kill you with "kindness?" Dunh-dunh-dunh!

NotoriousLES 14

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:22

Good carpenters are rare and expensive. Good friends are rare and priceless. Maybe your good friends will help you find a good carpenter? The sooner the better... good intentions and good homeowners' insurance won't cover anyone breaking their neck on your lovingly assembled death-trap of a porch.