Sex and Intimacy: Thanks, I hate it

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 795

You deserved it 7 273

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Same thing different taste

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 19 913

By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 491

You deserved it 1 969

Late results

By ohbutno - 08/02/2022 18:01

Today, I found out that not only did I get the best blowjob of my life on New Year's Eve, I also got gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 548

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 444

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 338

You deserved it 5 294

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 6 244

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 187

You deserved it 40 099

By alaskan1989 - 22/01/2011 01:27 - United States

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 455

You deserved it 9 948

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 2 064

CircusofValues 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 19:20

That definitely is full of suck. At least gonorrhea is curable.

snafu57 1

Saturday 19 December 2009 19:30

it's beginning to look a lot like syphillis

Comments

lanester25 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 3:17

all you idiots saying use a condom he's a guy why the **** would he wear a condom

RawrBunneh 0

Friday 2 July 2010 20:58

O god now u have to wait 2 more years to have sex again!

fuzzywazzy012 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 6:09

Whats a gornia?

valeriej 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 19:00

ha sounds like me. lost my virginity to the man I loved only to learn I contracted chlamydia. fml. def from the fat ugly **** he dated before me :(

beastin69 0

Friday 29 October 2010 9:11

69%of you are downers, this is a gay fml bcuhz only guys get gonnorhea.so stop saying use a condom seriously!

hatster 4

Friday 17 December 2010 20:20

You should have had sex with him sooner. You would have been cured now.

vabeach94 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 17:05

You're so freaking dumb. Really...why would you have sex with some guy you don't know what kind of diseases he has..dumbass..

Cierra657 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 6:33

you had sex witt lilwayne?

kingnate16 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 3:17

YDI for being a hoe

piinkgiirl 8

Sunday 20 November 2011 7:09

Wait. OP is a guy. And OP said they had sex with a guy.... o.O

odamaliekh 26

Thursday 10 July 2014 2:04

Aaaaaand??

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 6 979

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 161

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 943

You deserved it 3 245

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 771

You deserved it 37 497

Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 382

You deserved it 6 512

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 723

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I have been trying for 5 days to gain weight. Which for me, requires stuffing myself to the point of exploding. I haven’t slept in days because I'm constantly digesting food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 273