Love: That's not what I said…?

That's not what I said…?

By wow - 12/12/2011 01:37 - United States

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 289

You deserved it 4 539

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/03/2017 20:00

Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 597

You deserved it 1 003

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 14:00

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my crush how I feel about them. I poured my heart out, only for them to tell me that they're already seeing someone else. To make matters worse, they then asked me for advice on how to impress their new partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 206

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 105

Shutdown

By HighasaCloud - 30/04/2012 16:01 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 962

You deserved it 2 546

By Dana - 10/05/2011 08:36 - Netherlands

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 139

You deserved it 12 133

By um...no? i don't think so anyway - 15/12/2013 19:16 - United States - Warren

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 532

You deserved it 6 310

By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 606

You deserved it 4 877

Whatever it takes

By UglyLesbo - 21/08/2022 06:00

Today, I saw the girl I have a crush on holding hands and making out with another girl. When I hinted that I was into girls, in an attempt to ask her out out two months ago, she told me she was “straight as hell” and would “never resort to that disgusting ass lesbo shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 764

You deserved it 355

Tales of the unexpected

By Ryuga - 11/06/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 826

You deserved it 5 160

trixy81 10

Monday 12 December 2011 2:59

What? Well you clearly dodged a bullet with that one...

rcloca 10

Monday 12 December 2011 2:59

It's unnatural? Oh shit.

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 12 December 2011 6:12

She'll reach- I mean- come around.

Khybershell 5

Monday 12 December 2011 6:20

Wow. Where on earth does she think children come from?

BellaMarta 19

Monday 12 December 2011 6:29

But it's the most natural thing ever! Where does she think babies come from, because they definitely don't come by way of a stork.

cBlackout 13

Monday 12 December 2011 6:32

Because as everybody knows, genitals are completely useless and therefore must be removed.

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 12 December 2011 6:34

Wait a sec, loophole! Lesbian anyone?

Ecstasy_Trip_Ple 1

Monday 12 December 2011 6:36

whoever thinks sex is unnatural is unnatural, so forget her on that note.

CoolGuyJones 4

Monday 12 December 2011 6:37

If you have sex, your penis will fall off.

Ringerace 0

Monday 12 December 2011 6:41

Ask her to make sammich.

austineddy13 0

Monday 12 December 2011 6:45

Tell that bible banging **** to take a hike

JinxosGirl87 0

Monday 12 December 2011 8:06

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that sex is unnatural. Maybe if you knew what you were talking about you would know that, ****.

hobojones 0

Monday 12 December 2011 6:48

Unnatural to reproduce? Hmmm, id better rethink my life

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Cute Christmas Am I overreacting? Cats Holidays Gifts Awkward Shopping Relatable Health Friends Hair Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Intimacy Sex Neighbours Cops Smells Love Painful First Dates Social Media Grieving

The Top

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 762

You deserved it 8 681

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 618

You deserved it 3 896

The Top

Today, I went to a Stoplight Party. Green shirt = single, yellow = hard to get, and red = taken. I showed up wearing a red shirt and saw my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked him jokingly why he wasn't wearing red. He looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 689

You deserved it 6 123

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 752

You deserved it 4 239

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 508

You deserved it 7 049

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 621

You deserved it 11 136

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 571

You deserved it 2 981

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 722

You deserved it 3 546