Intimacy: That was quick - FML

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 5 951

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 355

You deserved it 28 340

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 239

By bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 290

You deserved it 6 318

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 037

You deserved it 4 496

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 617

You deserved it 8 230

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 355

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Spicy

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 260

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Spicy

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 243

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

Next

Top comments

olpally 32

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:38

Well, that escalated quickly...

shrimp1234 4

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:34

He has no staying power at all.

Comments

leahmae88 7

Thursday 13 September 2012 7:49

Well, at least you did your job.

haleystar16 7

Friday 8 March 2013 15:42

Why don't you just wait till he wakes up? Seems easier and less messy to me

Panda_Shy_Haven 17

Friday 5 July 2013 7:21

Just think of it this way. You're just that good

massacermark 2

Monday 2 September 2013 2:50

Guess you didn't see that cumming

caitywebbkid 5

Friday 20 January 2017 16:43

Idk man, as much as morning sex would be great, I'd feel pretty proud if you could make your man cum just with foreplay. Unless it's a consistent issue. In which case, blue pills are your friend

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 134

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 155

The Top

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 427

You deserved it 4 849

Today, I had to email my professor, saying, "I can't go to the event assigned in place of class today, due to the mass shooter in the sewers." Gotta love living in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 180

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 2 218

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 169

Today, I found the perfect job, which would help me escape my super toxic in-laws and marriage. I have all the educational and other qualifications for it, and it is a permanent well paying job with the government. Too bad the recruitment process takes years to complete, by which time I might've offed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 185

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 893

You deserved it 97 282