Intimacy: That was quick

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 5 951

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 355

You deserved it 28 340

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 239

By bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 290

You deserved it 6 318

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 037

You deserved it 4 496

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 617

You deserved it 8 230

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 355

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 260

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 243

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

olpally 32

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:38

Well, that escalated quickly...

shrimp1234 4

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:34

He has no staying power at all.

Comments

arman99 5

Monday 10 September 2012 0:43

Well that ejaculated quickly.

klx125cross 9

Monday 10 September 2012 3:41

And what round would that be? 2? 3? OP

j_cat187 19

Monday 10 September 2012 3:43

Haha he must got a hair trigger and he's ready to blow.

MrEscape 2

Monday 10 September 2012 6:25

Dang you're Good!

i_dunno 3

Monday 10 September 2012 7:30

Well it wouldn't have even been worth your time then would it!

bmykytyn 0

Monday 10 September 2012 20:37

Men are vulnerable when we sleep...

woeisme134 0

Tuesday 11 September 2012 3:23

well then, mission accomplished? right?

captainburke 5

Wednesday 12 September 2012 20:05

That must've been a great morning for him :)

goujee 2

Thursday 13 September 2012 2:32

And he never woke up?

SeeNote 1

Thursday 13 September 2012 3:40

Theres always tommorow sweetheart

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 39 751

The Top

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 020

You deserved it 6 882

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 9 569

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 109

You deserved it 4 704

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 089

You deserved it 3 267

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 3 712

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 009

You deserved it 4 843