Vacation, Awkward, beach and Miscellaneous: The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys

By aligator1009 - 09/05/2012 04:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 179

You deserved it 2 585

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Same thing different taste

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 029

You deserved it 32 534

By Faker - 16/10/2012 21:44 - United States

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 017

You deserved it 1 669

By beachbum - 27/02/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 451

You deserved it 54 151

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 395

You deserved it 2 296

Hey guys!

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 391

You deserved it 39 510

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 574

You deserved it 8 620

Stuck

By Miki13 - 11/11/2012 20:27 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 1 729

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 171

By bill - 24/10/2012 11:14 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 010

You deserved it 2 684

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 994

You deserved it 18 157

Lifes_a_bust 0

Wednesday 9 May 2012 12:12

A pillow for a leg, that's handy.

immaMonsta 8

Wednesday 9 May 2012 12:10

Well why were you staring for so long? It's rude to stare.

Comments

yaya1213 6

Wednesday 9 May 2012 13:15

You mean he opened his leg*

magnetoo 4

Wednesday 9 May 2012 13:16

He lives with a prosthetic leg but YOU are the one we have to feel sorry for? Yeah, good luck with that. "Oh, boo hoo, looking at icky people offends my delicate eyes."

LSS_fml 18

Wednesday 9 May 2012 14:09

If someone flopped out their junk next to me on the beach, I'd be the same. Legless or not, its still gross.

Pinkfl0yd 9

Wednesday 9 May 2012 14:09

Don't worry. Apparently he already has a tripod. Or at least a kickstand.

citymayer 7

Wednesday 9 May 2012 14:45

Judging by the way he so cavalierly uses his prosthetic as a pillow, I'm pretty sure the old guy has gotten over the fact that he needs a prosthetic leg in the first place. He's old, he's got so much more to worry and think about than a prosthetic that probably only enhances his abilities to walk.

dancinwookie 21

Wednesday 9 May 2012 13:16

A sunburned dick would have to hurt super bad. I don't even wanna know if he used SPF. The story could've taken a turn for the worst if he asked you to lotion him up.