Love, Swimming pool and Romantic: The language of love

The language of love

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 16:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 700

You deserved it 4 496

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Same thing different taste

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 7 728

By kylie - 15/11/2010 21:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 486

You deserved it 7 210

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 669

You deserved it 5 408

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 661

You deserved it 10 376

No warning

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 513

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 768

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 148

You deserved it 6 231

By Anonymous - 20/10/2013 19:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 959

You deserved it 6 105

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 12 514

By 20lbknockout - 20/10/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 099

You deserved it 3 548

carrotpuke 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 20:08

You just got a free breast lift!

JukeboxBunny 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 20:07

How hard are your boobs for that to even be a remote possibility?

Comments

abbeyrios 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 22:25

um yea this shouldn't be a fml post....boring

Acdcrulez 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 4:44

oh crap i did that to my girlfriend today..then she had to be a **** about it...i hope ur not my girlfriend

shotgun_girl 17

Saturday 28 November 2015 19:09

Its like trying to lift a guy by his testicles. Would you be pissy after being lifted by your testicles?

Scubadiver172001 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:16

It makes my boobs hurt and I'm a man! lolz

ILikePopCorn 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 1:44

^^^ Akward.

ILikePopCorn 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 1:51

Ahh, That Must Have Hurt. :P

maddiesonnn 0

Friday 14 May 2010 23:17

well its probably the only way he cud touch ur boobs, or he cant lift up ur tiny self and those boobs were thw biggest thing tht he cuz get a grab on

Foxears 2

Thursday 22 July 2010 7:47

Ouch O.o

DarkWaffle 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 17:13

#147 has MOOBS!!!!

DOMO123 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 0:25

OMFG I could so not imagine some freak trying to grab my boobs

sixdeadkittens 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 17:52

your bf is ******* awesome! lol

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 282

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 664

Today, as I’m single, I got permission to bring a friend as my plus-one to my sister's wedding. He’s religious so I thought of all people he’d be one to behave. Nope. He got plastered on champagne, slapped the brides ass as she was walking down the aisle with our dad, then started a fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 108

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 230

You deserved it 7 473

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 764

You deserved it 2 607

Today, I realised just how badly I procrastinate because I wanted to take a nap before going out for a friend's birthday, but I kept putting it off until I simply didn't have the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 730

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 224

The language of love

Same thing different taste

This is fine

No warning

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