The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 248
You deserved it 3 978
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

skorpien 1

What a self-absorbed bitch. Sorry to hear OP

74 1
Yeah_Thats_Me 0

Awww did someone get a paper cut? Just kidding, those things hurt.

44 4

Comments

DocBastard 38

Oh, give me a break. How deep could a paper cut actually go? Hold some pressure on it for a minute and it will stop bleeding. Stop being such a whiny drama queen, and maybe your flirtation with your coworker would actually be successful.

12 18
Raddaya 3

I'm putting a curse on you that you will get papercuts between all your fingers. You will then come back and see if you can still say that sentence without crying.

4 11
Doortje 29

That sounds like an awesome curse, can you teach me how to do it?

4 1
jisaac09 25

Bastard, you're exactly right. The reason paper can cut you is because its soo thin, and thin wood fibers lack the strength to cut that deep. And who even uses Band-Aids? Part of a paper towel/napkin/TP and some tape works wonders, and you're not seen as a winey little bitch.

3 5
DocBastard 38

Raddaya, you can take your curse and shove it up your clueless ass. I'm a surgeon, and I also do woodworking (building furniture) in what little spare time I have, so I've cut my hands more times than I can count. Yes, paper cuts suck. Yes, they hurt. And yes, FML is designed for people to complain about their little misfortunes. But that somehow doesn't seem to stop me from calling people whiny. I don't cry to anyone for a bandage for a paper cut (or any other minor injury). That just screams "drama queen" to me. And so do you.

14 4
RedPillSucks 31

He's a Drama Queen Paper cuts, inbetween co-worker glares like a laser beam Guaranteed to pown your mind Anytime

4 3
Gabbymcbride 2

Doc your my new hero. your hilarious. :D

3 3
kweenbitch 0

....not your usual charming self today. stressful day got you down?

1 3
Raddaya 3

Oh my god, you so right! Obviously everyone is a surgeon and woodworker and is used to having cuts all the time, right? Right, guys?

2 7
DocBastard 38

No, but that's what you get for making stupid assumptions and casting ridiculous "curses" at someone. You end up looking like a fool. That's *your* curse. Enjoy.

5 6
Raddaya 3

Oh my God. I look like a fool on a website. My life is gone. Seriously though, I admit I thought you were trolling. However, papercuts do hurt a lot for a normal human being, and it is entirely possible for them to bleed. The OP may not have known they don't usually bleed a load, and wanted to stem the flow before it bled out.

2 4
lexxxijade 0

You sir, are a douche bag.

0 3
Szaszaspasz 26

I have to admit my "band aids" consisted of scotch tape and Kleenex at work more often than not.

1 1
Doortje 29

So that's what hitting on someone means? I've been doing it all wrong then.

2 1
hellogoodbye1996 6

blood not bleed

0 6
AnAngryDolphin 0

how bad is your grammar? bleed was right you f-ing retard. go back to 6th grade

7 0
arakay 0

Do us a favor and go back to kindergarten.

3 2
MissNicky_fml 0

Dont correct people if your wrong dumbass

0 1
xk75 4

eh the OP may be a creepy mouthbreather who lecherously glares at her all day.

1 1
Raddaya 3

"Don't flatter yourself. This is not what is called a nosebleed."

6 3
imac619 2

So this begs to ask, how many times have you hit on her before with some lame excuse? YDI.

2 4
graceless_monkey 0

Either she is beyond self-absorbed or she has low self-esteem and was trying to put you down to make herself feel more comfortable/powerful. Either way, she was rude. Paper-cuts suck.

5 1
littlebigperson 0

u know what u do? first get the band aid ur self and ask her why n e 1 would want to hit on her. if she calls herself pretty just call her ugly. some people think way 2 high of themselves

1 3
ryno2004 1

ydi for cutting yourself to try and hit on a girl...

0 7
randomaccess745 0

that was.. really impossible to read. spell out your words in your next comment. it's Internet etiquette and kind of a rule here on FML.

0 6