Sex, Painful and Intimacy: The price of sin - FML

The price of sin

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 16:35 - United States - Houston

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 802

You deserved it 3 866

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I don't know why

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 21:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got bug bit on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 514

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 632

You deserved it 31 359

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 043

You deserved it 45 862

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 10 472

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 529

By threw my underwear out too - 03/12/2017 00:00 - United States - Hyde Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I took a walk on the beach at night. We were completely alone, so she started blowing me. It was great for the first five minutes, but she had just eaten dinner and (apparently) wasn't feeling great. I ended the night in the shower picking vomit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 893

You deserved it 1 901

By nikki - 04/08/2012 20:05 - Greece - K

Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 904

You deserved it 36 456

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 253

You deserved it 1 119

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 725

You deserved it 13 575

Next

Top comments

Roskosity 22

Monday 30 May 2016 23:20

Ants in your pants. Ha!

ScratchCatPower 32

Monday 30 May 2016 23:27

Ouch! Bad luck. But why in a truck bed? That sounds uncomfortable.

Comments

GayboyAdvance 5

Wednesday 1 June 2016 3:31

how did I know you were from texas

Reedenator 3

Wednesday 1 June 2016 13:59

Worth it

graphite01 15

Wednesday 1 June 2016 21:26

Why was there an ant nest in your truck? or did you ditch it overboard? and if so, why???

jeepers490 14

Saturday 4 June 2016 18:11

So romantic...

toxicLover28 19

Tuesday 7 June 2016 5:55

Lol there goes your sex . Always something gotta be in the way, right? But then again, it couldve been bad? So the ants helped you!?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Saturday 25 June 2016 20:37

Fire ants?

Jay18 22

Wednesday 7 December 2016 5:10

tried to be a porno so bad then reality set in

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University AITA Sex Divorce Awkward Love Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Cute Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Food Health Roommate My ex Texting

The Top

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 93

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 8 595

The Top

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 954

You deserved it 3 655

Today, my girlfriend, after 9 months of coffee shop dates and sharing bottles of wine, relaxing, expressing our love for each other, decided it was time to end our relationship by telling me that she actually wasn't happy, and had her and all of her friends and family block me on every social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 208

Today, after having worked two jobs for months to save up for a big vacation, I came home to find my hard-earned money replaced by my boyfriend's brand new motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 523

You deserved it 6 510

Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 904

You deserved it 36 456

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 166

You deserved it 2 038

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 737

You deserved it 10 130