Weird, Death and Awkward: The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

By Ghost - 14/12/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I was at my 10-year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screamed when she saw me. Then she started hitting me, looking panicked. I calmed her down and asked why she hit me. She says, "Everyone thought you were dead"' FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 825

You deserved it 2 804

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Same thing different taste

By Ugly - 22/08/2013 23:40 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 188

You deserved it 3 514

By itwasajoke - 25/12/2016 21:23

Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 440

You deserved it 2 366

By feelinblue - 23/06/2009 11:31 - Australia

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 202

You deserved it 4 518

By elizio - 04/08/2015 11:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 661

You deserved it 2 930

By Jusawkward - 01/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 667

You deserved it 4 420

We meet again

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 571

Another brick in the wall

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 10:59 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I ran into one of my exes, and she seemed straight up shocked to see me. She said, "OH MY GOD! You're alive?" like I was a suicide risk or something. Nope, turns out her last 3 boyfriends before me were so unstable that when she cheated on them, they killed themselves shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 97

Humblebrag High

By danny - 23/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I've had a huge glow up since then, and I noticed plenty of women who never spoke to me at the time trying to hit it off with me. It seems the partners of some of those women got jealous and started pressing me. Now I'm getting bullied for being hot? FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 22:29 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 087

You deserved it 5 733

By unluckymiss - 24/01/2010 06:03 - United States

Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 616

You deserved it 4 354

Sun_Kissed18 25

Tuesday 15 December 2009 3:56

Ok, even if she thought you were dead, why is hitting an appropriate response?

DDang 2

Tuesday 15 December 2009 3:51

Wow. That sucks big time. How the heck did it come to that? o-o

Comments

niadanac1 3

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:04

I can't believe they posted this...

nefariousnobo 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:07

"Everybody thought you were dead?" - Who are you that nobody even knew you were alive? Or is it that they all thought you died; if so why? That's... Really... Odd

lazytown 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:13

She really thought you were a zombie? That's... weird. I'm guessing they thought you were dead because they never heard from you, and not because someone started a rumor that you were in a car crash or something -- but that wouldn't explain her hitting you.

DJGomezzi1 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:14

I completely agree...

daniel1_1 13

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:15

hey where's the WTF button?

mrparkes 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:15

"if i was dead why are you hitting me" - JD "Dead people should be dead" - Doug (Scrubs)

possumisawesome 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 5:28

"That's my philosophy with mice. If they're alive, kill them. If they're dead, kill them." - Cook, The Tale of Despereaux

cmccarthy05 0

Monday 21 December 2009 5:36

the only good zombie is a dead zombie - andrew jackson aw man... i might have messed that one up a bit?

insanemistress 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:16

lawlz niiiiice

OhhandyT 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:20

Why did she had to hit? Hitting peopIe isn't appropriate wheather they are dead or not.

Mr_26 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:32

now woulda been the perfect time to say "rumours of my demise were greatly exagerated"

EmilyClaire 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:54

either that or "Dam....so you can see my huh?"

YayAmerica 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:52

Is no one else concerend about the words "I control her"? What'd you do? Use your glamour? You are dead after all. Don't worry. This'll be an adorable story for the grandkids.

lyndis_fml 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 4:54

Uh, no, because if someone is assaulting me I have every right to stop them. This can include, if I choose NOT to render them unconscious, gaining control of their arms so they can't hit me. Are you saying you'd rather OP had decked the woman?