Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: There's a time and a place - FML

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There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 685

You deserved it 4 667

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 826

You deserved it 37 545

By 0ros - 12/09/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 795

You deserved it 4 380

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 433

You deserved it 2 692

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 010

You deserved it 14 945

By ambled - 24/12/2011 20:04 - United States

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 585

You deserved it 2 341

By messyfamily - 19/09/2010 07:31 - Australia

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 731

You deserved it 2 858

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 135

Never trust the messenger

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 158

You deserved it 21 003

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 902

You deserved it 7 917

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 589

You deserved it 47 240

Next

Top comments

ThogTheCaveman 7

Monday 4 April 2011 5:26

While it's driving? You're right, great idea. What could possibly go wrong with getting out of a moving car? Dear God, are you trying to destroy my faith in humanity?

denvan 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 22:41

Wow your face must've been a Kodak moment.

Comments

James1324 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:06

that's really awkward :s

Jayymz24 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:13

11. you should get an award for that.

GetChiZZedoN 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:26

yum

latinabbyx3 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:27

awkward >.<

tiger_lilliee88 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:31

I would have kicked her stupid a$$ outta the car... either that I would have said Hi Dad, dads can't have any kind of sex with their kid listening

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Monday 4 April 2011 5:44

oh gosh....I'm so sorry

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Monday 4 April 2011 5:44

oh gosh....I'm so sorry

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Monday 4 April 2011 5:44

oh gosh....I'm so sorry

Dude123456789 2

Monday 4 April 2011 5:46

wow that really sucks. heres videos about a funny panda! www.youtube.com/SuLinThePanda

aFMLfann4life 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:47

it's the safest sex ever!

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The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 790

You deserved it 2 048

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 5 255

The Top

Today, after my grandfather died a month ago, my grandmother had a massive stroke. I have a sinus infection but had to be tested for Covid. I need it to show negative so I can say goodbye to the most influential woman in my life. I don’t know that results will be back in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 76

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 547

You deserved it 2 842

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 217

You deserved it 3 797

Today, after my girlfriend made a huge dinner, we got frisky. About 15 minutes in, I threw up the dinner she made, all over her. She hasn’t talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 456

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 821

You deserved it 58 202

Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 477