Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: There's a time and a place - FML

There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 668

You deserved it 4 667

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 524

By 0ros - 12/09/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 778

You deserved it 4 380

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 2 688

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 14 929

By ambled - 24/12/2011 20:04 - United States

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 577

You deserved it 2 338

By messyfamily - 19/09/2010 07:31 - Australia

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 724

You deserved it 2 856

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 125

Never trust the messenger

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 142

You deserved it 20 998

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 7 910

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 585

You deserved it 47 214

Next

Top comments

ThogTheCaveman 7

Monday 4 April 2011 5:26

While it's driving? You're right, great idea. What could possibly go wrong with getting out of a moving car? Dear God, are you trying to destroy my faith in humanity?

denvan 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 22:41

Wow your face must've been a Kodak moment.

Comments

ForeverPunk 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:06

what a dumbfuck

MrDiezel 3

Monday 4 April 2011 2:12

Just in case the op thought she didn't care about her dad

biggestboss 3

Monday 4 April 2011 2:12

woahh super super super awkward! btw hey Anjali :)

d3xt3r3 4

Monday 4 April 2011 2:13

how in anyway possible does he/she or anyone deserve this?

MemeriGoesRawr 8

Monday 4 April 2011 2:29

I would've slapped her.

mrdaddy 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:33

Dads got a lil freak his own personal goddess win dad win. hope it's cool with you dads happy, ask for a car.

Brokenheartedfor 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:36

Oh baby;)

junoemilymae 6

Monday 4 April 2011 2:46

ouch. if tht doesnt scream awkward i dnt kno wat does.

CrAzyFlOriDaGiRl 1

Monday 4 April 2011 2:56

Kindaa Creepy...

roblaycle 3

Monday 4 April 2011 5:41

nice

marissabunge23 0

Monday 4 April 2011 3:07

why would she do that...FYL

5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Mental health Work Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Dogs Animals Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 744

You deserved it 17 914

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 5 650

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 5 036

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 393

You deserved it 3 268

Today, we were at church when I pulled my toddler’s hand out of his pants, and he screamed, "I WAS MAKING MY PENIS BIG!" I need a new church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 634

You deserved it 456

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 33 065

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 2 631