Money, Capitalism and Miscellaneous: Thick as thieves

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 403

You deserved it 539 697

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Same thing different taste

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 143

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 761

You deserved it 3 356

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 972

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 2 531

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 3 601

Snitched

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 21:00

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 108

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 12/04/2018 19:00

Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 823

You deserved it 819

It's not what you think

By Shopper - 23/05/2012 22:50 - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 341

You deserved it 7 710

Endymion_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.

PhoenixLE 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 9:47

You're a moron. YDI.

Comments

DizzyDemon0 9

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:04

Good job. I hope it goes on your record..then you REALLY won't be able to get a job. You're an idiot.

Luncho 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:05

Wow, you've chosen quite the road to go on in life... you are an idiot and wasted your time in posting this... unless you get off on people pointing out your stupidity or something...

iamspartacus2 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:23

Asshole. I clicked "you deserved that one" before I finished reading the first sentence.

funkycloud7137 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:24

Why would you post that story on fml? You couldn't have thought people were going to think your life is ******. Your mind is ******.

eschreib 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:24

hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

MukyDaCookie 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:25

Deny, Deny, Deny! Don't think your big sh*t admitting to stealing. Always deny it. Deny it to the point where even YOU think you bought those jeans legitimatley.

xxoshuxx 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:27

um WTF!! we all have to pay for our clothes, why shouldn't you!!!

fuckmylife431413 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:30

WOAH!!!!!!!!!!! everybody shutup. he doesnt ******* deserve it. some ppl, start shop lifting cuz they can, its easy, and cheap, and retail stores suck at stopping it. seriously they almost hand you the clothes. friends start doing it and show you how easy it is and then you start doing it and cant stop... and some people are ******* poor. they still wanna look the same as everyone tho the only reason YDI is cuz you need to check out who all is working b4 you take anything. walk casually thru the store looking at who is working. then you can take shit. BTW if you would have said "no i didnt take anything" they could not have checked your bag if the bag was not from their store... they could have only called security or the cops... thats when you leave because they cant chase you out the door. their not allowed to they get fired for checking your bags from other stores and chasing you out the door. technically their not even supposed to accuse you of stealing because now you have the right to sue them if you weren't. Try making it look like you stole something. let them see. have them accuse you and sue their ass.... next time just be smart about it....

fuckmylife431413 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:36

Also agree with 131

fuckmylife431413 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:38

and you don't go to ******* jail and it doesn't get put on your ******* record. chill the **** out. if he went to jail he would have said so.... he was still in the store.... so all he had to do was give it back. he didnt even walk out of the store yet..... dumb asses

CynicComedian 2

Thursday 14 January 2010 5:35

fuckmylife431413 and OP, I'm guessing you'll both be put into cuffs quite a few times throughout your life. Your sense of entitlement, disregard for the law and private property of others (yes, not-yet purchased merchandise is the PRIVATE PROPERTY) is leading into a very sad and fruitless life. Stealing is okay because it's easy?? So is murder: Point a gun and pull the trigger until they're dead. Doesn't make it right. I really hope both of you end up in prison and on the end of Bubba's spam javelin...maybe that will teach you.