Intimacy: Time is money

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 223

You deserved it 5 969

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 1 629

Stop begging

By cuckolddreams - 21/01/2015 19:06 - United States - Broken Bow

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 11 751

By candy man - 04/09/2014 19:32 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 739

You deserved it 10 778

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 6 128

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 492

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 34 359

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 29 884

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:09

are you telling us we should use the asshole more often? or just calling him an asshole?

HatchetMan 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:21

They all say they want someone who can go all night, but very few really do.

Comments

thorscope 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 15:58

She deserves a one pump chump

purebliss7 6

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:09

sex can never take to long...your girlfriend is an idiot.

missababgaga 19

Friday 10 August 2012 7:29

Tell her that occasional quickie isn't all that bad!

missababgaga 19

Friday 10 August 2012 7:30

*the

Phunya 1

Thursday 8 November 2012 13:56

-sigh- I have the SAME. EXACT. *******. PROBLEM with my girlfriend.. -________- I think it's honestly time for change.

viau 13

Saturday 28 September 2013 4:44

tell her she dosent do it right

tomuchtohandle 6

Tuesday 12 November 2013 4:39

Well in some cases it takes about 9 months..

lemurman108 24

Friday 3 January 2014 3:45

Did you tell her that that can be changed very easily?

Thatgirl299 15

Sunday 12 January 2014 5:28

burn!

crissalove 22

Friday 7 February 2014 2:34

Take it as a compliment! You last long, congrats bro!

olganicholaievna 3

Thursday 2 April 2015 19:30

It sometimes can. sex only needs to last 15 mins at most.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 145

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, I was filling out an application for a job at a local pet store. At the end of it, they wanted a paragraph about any pets I had. After a while, I found myself finishing a 3-page essay about them. That's the longest essay I've ever written. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 531

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 620

You deserved it 3 125

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 409

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 284

You deserved it 3 585

Today, after much delay, work was finally completed on my parents' new ensuite bathroom. It shares a wall with my bedroom. I was relieved, until I realised the endless crashing and drilling sounds have now been replaced with the sounds of my parents' bladder and bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 173

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 419

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments