Love, Marriage and Relatable: Time to tap out

Time to tap out

By Staying single - 25/06/2023 13:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 1 147

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Same thing different taste

Boozehounds

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 17:01

Today, my fiancé refused to talk to me because I'm "an alcoholic". I only started drinking like this after we moved in together and he brought me alcohol every day, because he's an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 358

By Nile - 08/12/2015 17:21 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 931

You deserved it 2 837

The magic of love

By robot lady - 23/09/2020 23:01

Today, I learned just how “old fashioned” my girlfriend is when we talked about marriage. She said it should be approached as a logically as possible and that I make an ideal partner, based on my ability to provide. And while she sees sex as uninteresting, it is a wifely duty she’s willing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 208

Alexa, play "Rent" by Pet Shop Boys

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 08:01

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend even stays with me if he’s not interested in marriage or children, hates my family, barely talks to me when he gets home, and seems uninterested in sex. Apparently, the cheap rent on my flat was his sole interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 297

By random guy - 30/03/2016 06:49 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 1 866

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 15:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend but she refused. Why? Because instead of asking her, “Will you marry me?” I asked her to “be my wife.” She flew off the handle because “my wife” suggests she would be mine, like ownership, like domestic slavery. I don’t want to marry her anymore; she’s nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 197

By stillloveherthough - 26/02/2016 17:54 - Germany - Aachen

Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 2 030

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 143

By wmhh26 - 14/07/2019 00:30

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I've been "spending too much time at the bar." I've been sober for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 145

Boring FML

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 353

Hangryko 29

Sunday 25 June 2023 22:09

So why are you still with her, again?

Anderling 32

Sunday 25 June 2023 22:26

Is there literally anything you do like? Why are you with her?

Comments

historygrad74 19

Monday 26 June 2023 15:01

She definitely sounds like a keeper.

bear7722 11

Tuesday 27 June 2023 8:16

then why stay with her?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 27 June 2023 15:03

She looks hot and puts out. Any male would know that.

Aurora25 29

Wednesday 28 June 2023 0:55

leave her then

Keywords

Parenting Kids Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Awkward Friends Poopoo peepee Work Management Frustration Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy

The Top

Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 94

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 215

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 350

You deserved it 7 113

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook from my sister who lives 8 hours away in another province. They made the decision 3 weeks ago. I live with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 578

You deserved it 266

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 958

You deserved it 13 911

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 1 482

Today, I tried to get a cup from the designated cabinet. As soon as I opened it, a glass cup fell down, which I narrowly saved from breaking by having it bounce off my foot. Obviously, that didn't feel good. But you know what also didn't feel good? The travel mug falling on my head immediately afterward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 121