Work: Timing - FML

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 767

You deserved it 3 884

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Same thing different taste

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 207

You deserved it 3 494

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 144

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 2 608

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 4 032

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

By needanewphone - 22/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 927

You deserved it 32 341

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

Hurry up

By lauren_rox - 08/11/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 431

You deserved it 13 710

I'm up here

By Pooped - 21/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, apparently my parents called 911 because I wasn't answering their phone calls, so they thought something was wrong. I was in the bathroom and didn't bring my phone, so I wouldn't distract myself and ended up sitting there forever. Looks like that wasn't the right choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 136

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 224

You deserved it 3 219

Next

Top comments

Victoria16_fml 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:54

I guess your shit outta luck

music_woman1 11

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:53

The worst time for that to happen

Comments

FlyingWhisps 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:03

If the phone was in another room while you were sittin on tha toilet then :D Har Har

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:04

They knew you would be sitting on the pot, it's a conspiracy to get you to miss all your calls and be subsequently forced to call back!

MandyMeow_fml 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:05

Just play it cool.. They don't have to know that you're in a very awkward situation

GovernorGeneral 8

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:41

Thats not awkward at all. :|

MandyMeow_fml 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 12:48

I guess it depends on if the bathroom was echoey or not..

ladyLALAA 28

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:21

You always know when someone is doing something in the phone; eating, smoking, peeing haha.

thatgirlinoregon 21

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:06

It's called the 'mute button'. Hold off on the noises when you unmute to reply. Voila!

kyarush 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:27

Chinchilla!

GoW_Chick 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 10:10

Penguin!

yahoowizard 16

Thursday 19 January 2012 10:50

Nothing gets rid of that echo

asianbeezy_ 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:07

Did u answer it?

ninjuh_wingman 29

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:08

Looks like things went down the crapper.

MikeMikeTheAzn 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:09

I need my iPhone everytime I'm on the toilet... or else I'll be hella bored.

GoW_Chick 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:12

Why is it that important calls always happen at the worst times? I think the world put you in that shitty situation for it's own amusement. Yes I did say shitty situation, BRING IT!

ChaosAngel17 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:50

Challenge accepted!

GoW_Chick 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 10:24

Hey at least I didn't get shot like 26 down/ there *gets pulled into windowless van*

Pentium_4 27

Thursday 19 January 2012 10:26

sad :( you fell for the free candy trick?

ICATiger 13

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:14

Well that is a shitty(*gets shot in face*)

Pentium_4 27

Thursday 19 January 2012 10:16

*holding gun* you're welcome everyone.... sorry tiger :'(

bobbycorwen 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 17:19

*puts arm around Pentium_4's shoulder* "Would to like to go listen to Suicide Silence? Huh? It'll make you feel better?" :)

Pentium_4 27

Thursday 19 January 2012 21:38

Yes I would!!!!!

opinionmaker 7

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:18

Well, at least now you can shit on your luck without 'holding back'

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 281

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 637

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 69 626

You deserved it 16 029

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 136

You deserved it 5 252

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 88

Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 204

Today, I was told an assignment that was supposed to be due in a week and a half is due today. I crammed all night and ended up getting 3 hours of sleep. Turns out it was an April Fool's prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 736

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 538