Sex and Intimacy: TMI FML

TMI FML

By skyplaysguitar - 30/07/2012 05:56 - United States - Las Cruces

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 211

You deserved it 6 524

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 6 016

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 04:22

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 178

You deserved it 2 373

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 396

You deserved it 2 300

Nice to know

By Gemma - 06/01/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 3 080

Horror movie

By ihatevideos - 16/03/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 768

You deserved it 37 496

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 579

You deserved it 5 635

Oops, I Did It Again

By Anonymous - 12/09/2019 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 762

Harsh

By Anonymous - 16/08/2020 08:01

Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 919

You deserved it 340

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 510

You deserved it 3 721

dude1122332 9

Monday 30 July 2012 12:43

And over there honey was the sand castle your father and I conceived your brother.(:

WCARlover 34

Monday 30 July 2012 12:44

I honestly could give a flying crap where I was conceived...I don't see why that matters

Comments

kimg0885 23

Monday 30 July 2012 16:01

Even if you don't have sex on the beach you still come home with sand in the most awkward places. When my daughter gets old enough and asks where she was conceived ( although this is a weird question) I'm going to say " your bed, it's the baby maker!" ; just to creep her out.

Mandybruin 15

Monday 30 July 2012 16:14

And then you can go ahead and invest in therapy. You know, just in case...

greenie213 23

Monday 30 July 2012 16:04

Mental images rushing through head! MAKE IT STOP!!!

brandonjd25 3

Monday 30 July 2012 16:13

Bahaha you're mom takes it up the butt!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 30 July 2012 16:15

sigh... Now I'll never watch sponge bob the same again. I'll probably get a woody whenever sandy the squirrel comes on. Too much???

perdix 29

Monday 30 July 2012 16:51

A creative boyfriend would tease you that you were conceived in a volcano. Then, your mom could have regaled you with tales of your dad's man-magma!

Here4theshow 17

Monday 30 July 2012 17:18

You set yourself up there OP.

kipfischer 11

Monday 30 July 2012 17:23

Why would you care where u were conceived...you must think highly of urself to let that bother you...grow a pair

Shadow_Blues 10

Monday 30 July 2012 17:41

The more you know? *star whooshes by*

vbmg152 18

Monday 30 July 2012 17:52

You can't handle the truth!

poseymark 5

Monday 30 July 2012 18:28

Long live Col. Jessep ;)

AznSamoan52 10

Monday 30 July 2012 18:00

I was born in Hawaii, too!!!!! Though not on the beach........ Anyways, why would you care about where you were conceived? And why would you ask your mom? Everybody knows that if you ask your parents that question, you're bound to get the following: horrible and disgusting mental images, loss of a few brain cells, nightmares, head ache, nausea, diarrhea, and the incredible urge to throw up. Now to look at the side effects of these reactions..............