Sex and Miscellaneous: TMI

TMI

By estranger - 03/01/2014 22:36 - United States

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 168

You deserved it 3 732

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Same thing different taste

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 11 385

Fixed it

By JLO - 18/08/2011 14:11 - Australia

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my mum and dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 3 659

By Anonymous - 24/05/2019 20:07

Today, I spilled grape juice on my new white shirt. I bleached it and scrubbed it until there was nothing left to see. I threw it on, ready to dart out of the door, when my dad walks in after fixing the lawnmower and puts his greasy hand right on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 168

shrinks into corner

By Ally - 24/03/2018 05:00

Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 743

You deserved it 658

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 313

You deserved it 2 984

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 450

You deserved it 4 166

Booze-fuelled family drama

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 11:59

Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 86

By moudly - 06/01/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 624

You deserved it 5 001

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 2 803

onealmxwilson 18

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:26

Hey be thankful it's clean. He could have just left the stains on there

TyT63 12

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:27

I thought this was going in a different direction

Comments

raininginseattle 9

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:33

Just don't go home now and ask your parents why your couch has bleach stains.

breakinlegs 19

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:38

who uses bleach to clean a couch? he is probably just messing with you!

strike2867 13

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:39

Most couch stains are either cat pee or that, I don't see why everyone is so surprised.

Spark_Slicker 19

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:48

The saying "Some things are better left unsaid" comes to mind.

anastasiamarie 8

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:49

That's the worst! I hate when family members tell you things you can never unhear!

braaaapp87 1

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:53

Ummmm....at least it was bleached. Still awkward though!

jono35 7

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:56

must be a good couch eh (;

furry_jessaline 3

Saturday 4 January 2014 6:13

Hehe at least it clean but they really should of use lemon juice... FYL

buckdharma 37

Saturday 4 January 2014 6:37

Did he have a hard time, Explaining the membrane.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 4 January 2014 6:43

Insane in the membrane (Insane in the brain!)

ryechaser 8

Saturday 4 January 2014 7:24

Your grandfather is awesome!

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The Top

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

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You deserved it 4 765

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 792

You deserved it 6 359

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I agree, your life sucks 27 762

You deserved it 6 083

Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 067

You deserved it 1 442

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I agree, your life sucks 2 386

You deserved it 118

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I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 201

Today, I realized two things: how much time I've spent waiting between lectures, and just how bad my love life is. I found out that I get incredibly jealous when somebody sits on my favourite bench in the centre of the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 231

You deserved it 1 142

TMI