Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: TMI

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 561

You deserved it 4 471

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gift ideas

By EmmaG123 - 28/02/2009 05:54 - United States

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 117

You deserved it 5 126

Mix up

By Trew Love - 03/05/2016 06:25 - Canada - Fort Saint John

Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 167

You deserved it 1 369

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 1 157

By Anonymous - 21/07/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 705

You deserved it 2 777

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 880

You deserved it 592

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 3 088

Cockblocked

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 886

You deserved it 5 862

Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 97

Dumpy baby

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 193

By Anoymous - 09/06/2013 06:02 - United States - Burlingame

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 662

You deserved it 3 684

Welshite 39

Thursday 17 January 2013 0:05

I must introduce this fantastic holiday to my family. More presents for me.

NoOneCaresReally 8

Thursday 17 January 2013 0:05

Well... Happy Conception Day!

Comments

yeti37 16

Friday 18 January 2013 4:13

Instead of a cake to celebrate, just have the batter before its in the oven...

itsallbullshit 4

Friday 18 January 2013 7:52

That sounds like something my mother would say.

ViviMage 39

Friday 18 January 2013 14:27

Well, YDI since your egg shouldn't have been expelled from her ovary and in the Fallopian tube when she had fun! Not your fault, but YDI!

chosha_fml 26

Friday 18 January 2013 21:39

That's not at all creepy. Oh wait, yes it is.

Born2die 11

Saturday 19 January 2013 1:01

Its better than "Happy your dad plowed me and I squeezed you out of my ****** day!"

eaoiceman 10

Sunday 20 January 2013 6:52

Mine is St. Patrick's day. Helluva day to party!

profligatesoul 18

Thursday 28 February 2013 4:08

I don't see the FML here. If anything YDI in a good way. It's like a pre birthday

Exodiafinder687 58

Saturday 21 March 2015 9:22

This holiday is almost as good as an Unbirthday.

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Students Relatable Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 327

You deserved it 6 125

The Top

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 075

You deserved it 258

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 222

You deserved it 10 492

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 831

You deserved it 8 067

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 128

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 004

You deserved it 3 730

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 168

You deserved it 1 872

TMI