Animals: TMI

TMI

By Grossedouttt - 04/07/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 500

You deserved it 3 733

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Same thing different taste

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 300

You wanker

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 303

You deserved it 87 312

Good boy

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 00:51 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 080

You deserved it 2 920

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 53 802

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 809

You deserved it 18 372

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 893

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 400

You deserved it 32 905

Gross

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 15:59 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 134

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 4 875

Alone time

By Anonymous - 27/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Buford

Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 128

Ub3r_Crippl3 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 12:16

You asked. At least she was honest.

8trickster8 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 12:32

I agree with #6

Comments

geesquared 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:30

I wonder if they have ever heard of door locks... haha

davdude12 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:41

My dog does the same thing to me and my girlfriend and my door's knob is broken so of doesn't lock.. I use weights to hold the door close

lastminuteperm 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:42

Sounds fake. They could have locked him in a different room, put him outside, or whatever. I'm not saying it IS fake but it SOUNDS fake.

baileys82 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:31

you've never owned a pet who *has* to be in the same room as you at all times.

jdawg777 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:45

Parents should NOT still be having sex by the time their kids are old enough to drive, or even know what sex is

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 2:01

why the **** not? sex is a big part of any normal marriage.

randomxtremely 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:18

FYL I would hate to even see my parents faces no matter what they're doing--they suck

Dramaramagrl 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:18

ewwwww but u shouldn't have asked.

bloodyhell9398 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:53

if you close the door ALL the way, a dog cant open it

omigod 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:56

F ur mom's life. dogs need love too. just let that poor thing have its way. threesome is not too bad after the first time.

cramazing 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:06

wtf y would she ask u that??? FYL hard

jw90 18

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:13

Shouldn't of asked..:P

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 199

The Top

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 081

You deserved it 3 890

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 125

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 966

You deserved it 12 116

Today, I went to the eye doctor with my little brother. There were only three chairs and one was occupied by a woman. I sat at the far end, but as soon as I sat down, I heard my little brother yell out loud, "I DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO THE FAT LADY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 911

You deserved it 1 137

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 116

TMI