Insects and Miscellaneous: Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom... - FML

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 633

You deserved it 2 525

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Same thing different taste

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 4 987

Queen

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 735

You deserved it 16 269

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 121

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 755

You deserved it 56 777

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 212

By TheRoad42 - 20/08/2013 12:54 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 729

You deserved it 2 732

By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 22:54 - Australia

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 151

You deserved it 3 157

Living in a treehouse?

By Outandaway - 27/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 110

Freak Scene

By antsgomarching - 06/10/2020 17:01

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 17:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 148

You deserved it 3 291

Next

Top comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 29 August 2011 8:54

"Hey dickweed, the closet, it is ours! Victory! Bow down to your ant leaders as we wear your pants foolish human"

McMike10 1

Monday 29 August 2011 9:08

So you literally have ants in your pants?

Comments

gdit10 2

Monday 29 August 2011 9:25

What do they sound like when you heard them 'announce' their victory?

khaya 9

Monday 29 August 2011 9:28

That's what happens when you don't pay rent.

n_epic_fail 14

Monday 29 August 2011 9:35

everyone worried about COD and zombies when ants are about to take over!

Majstr 23

Monday 29 August 2011 9:42

To get you!

lmBobSaget 0

Monday 29 August 2011 9:43

"Hoho! I might be small but in numbers you will run, fool." -Famous Ant

xrainbowshadowx 17

Monday 29 August 2011 10:03

Look on the bright side you have new roommates...that will soon disappear: "Say hello to my little friend!" In this case you're little friend will be ant poison or maybe it will be the phrase of an exterminator you'll call. Good luck with getting rid of those ants OP!

hollenbackam 12

Monday 29 August 2011 10:46

Who knew that ants could talk, much less "announce" anything? ;P

CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 29 August 2011 15:22

They have quite a voice despite their small size.

EvilTeddysRock 2

Monday 29 August 2011 11:13

Hehe you got ants in your pants=> but really, sorry OP when they all attack at once it's horrible

ynnhoj 2

Monday 29 August 2011 11:27

I didn't know ants can communicate with humans. They probably can read. You should put an eviction notice on their little ant whole.

lulututu 4

Monday 29 August 2011 12:50

I'm allergic to ants ughh I hate them.

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The Top

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 524

You deserved it 5 800

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 789

You deserved it 5 924

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 386

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 5 666

Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 112

Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 218

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 894

You deserved it 26 457