Work: Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I...

By Anonymous - 18/03/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 194

You deserved it 4 001

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Same thing different taste

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 3 096

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 21:44 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 829

You deserved it 4 234

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 06:19 - United States - Avon

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 450

You deserved it 3 556

Leech

By upyours - 22/05/2020 17:00 - Australia

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 212

Asshat walking

By Bad employee - 28/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 177

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 164

You deserved it 6 151

By Lunar-Spice - 23/07/2019 04:05

Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 985

By liltravol23 - 15/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 219

You deserved it 4 646

Tactical

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 067

You deserved it 3 941

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 564

You deserved it 4 180

energizerbunny23 18

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:37

Probably jealous of the size...

TheTedster 15

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:39

File a complaint against him for being "unreasonably stupid".

Comments

jddrinker 6

Wednesday 19 March 2014 10:24

Next time deep throat it in front of him while looking him in the eyes.

r00nie 10

Wednesday 19 March 2014 10:27

Were you staring at him while eating the banana?

TechFire 25

Wednesday 19 March 2014 11:43

He has a crush on you, OP.

telli164 30

Wednesday 19 March 2014 12:17

Sounds like he's got problems bigger than his ego.

evelynproud 12

Wednesday 19 March 2014 12:30

It means you ate your banana in a sexual manner.

carterjanelle 9

Wednesday 19 March 2014 13:10

Lmfao what a spazz

vikky538 28

Wednesday 19 March 2014 13:59

he is a stalker ..won't let u eat peace"fully"..

holliepong 8

Wednesday 19 March 2014 14:33

Tell him eating banana is really good for your health! It can prevent many kinds of illness and provide you energy!

skittyskatbrat 19

Wednesday 19 March 2014 16:12

My husband suggested you bring a cucumber in for lunch next time. And slowly peel it, then salt it, then eat it. Next employee potluck of any kind, you HAVE to bring "Spotted Dick."