Work: Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I...

By Anonymous - 18/03/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 194

You deserved it 4 001

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Same thing different taste

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 3 096

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 21:44 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 829

You deserved it 4 234

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 06:19 - United States - Avon

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 450

You deserved it 3 556

Leech

By upyours - 22/05/2020 17:00 - Australia

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 212

Asshat walking

By Bad employee - 28/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 177

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 164

You deserved it 6 151

By Lunar-Spice - 23/07/2019 04:05

Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 985

By liltravol23 - 15/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 219

You deserved it 4 646

Tactical

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 067

You deserved it 3 941

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 564

You deserved it 4 180

energizerbunny23 18

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:37

Probably jealous of the size...

TheTedster 15

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:39

File a complaint against him for being "unreasonably stupid".

Comments

fmlrulesBolt 14

Thursday 20 March 2014 22:08

Hahaha what nonsense. He deserves to be ridiculed.

jordan2314 4

Friday 21 March 2014 6:45

If it was frozen it would be sexual..

nognom 2

Friday 21 March 2014 12:54

We need a video to determine if he was correct.

nitrog100 21

Friday 21 March 2014 18:28

Unless you made eye contact, your coworker is crazy. Never make eye contact while eating a banana unless you want something to happen.

Krb1995 5

Sunday 23 March 2014 21:47

He sounds immature I wouldn't worry about it

ingridsoare 3

Monday 24 March 2014 6:12

It depends. How sensually did you eat that banana, OP? ;)

vitjoey4 14

Saturday 27 February 2016 18:33

We're you deepthroating it?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 152

You deserved it 39 590

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, I sat outside for a half hour hysterically laughing at this kid next door for constantly mooing like a cow. My mum came out to inform me the kid is severely disabled. I even mooed back at one stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 2 121

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 460

You deserved it 3 431

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 387

You deserved it 8 016

Today, while I was skyping two of my guy friends, my mom barged into my room to show me a really nice new lipstick she bought and wanted me to try on. It was a beautiful red color and as I asked how I looked with it on, my mother laughed and responded with "hahaha you look like a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 491

You deserved it 449

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 649

You deserved it 2 626

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 015

You deserved it 4 361