By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 432
You deserved it 15 958
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Top comments

toxic_walrus 15

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

830 11
tj4234 35

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.

365 7

Comments

DocBastard 38

I've noticed two things with the comments here - 1) Way too many stupid "bro/bra" comments. 2) One particular moron who seems to think condoms don't protect against STDs. At times like this I wish I could reach through my phone and slap the stupid off you.

92 7
MikeyLean 8

Yeah but you got a coke bottle shoved up your ass!..

40 8
Respect101 17

I don't think you've been on FML long enough to be messing with DocBastard... If there was a FML hall of fame, DocBastard would be at the top of it, first inducted and everything.

11 35
GentlemanBastard 15

Also, Doc, a lot of people are making "clap" jokes, which is the wrong STD. Don't forget to call them stupid as well!

37 1
ladyg228 15

Your comments are so awesome Doc!!

5 21
ihpp 22

sometimes I wish stupid could be cured. then again, Doc wouldn't have a reason to blog anymore.

9 3
lostmama 7

by the way the clap is a slang word for chlamydia

1 13
dgameseeker 12

Another thing, there are wayyy too many of the "clap, clap." Comments... It's not gonorrhea

3 1
MikeyLean 8

What?! Yeah go ahead and name the dog "herpes" smh.

4 27
aimzskee 30

At least she told you and you can get treated.

19 1
corn_flake 19

Well. Seems like its your fault for sleeping with a dirty *****...

13 30
MzZombicidal 36

That's extremely rude. I hope you know some people who end up contracting an STD get it from an unfaithful partner. Though we don't know much about her, it's not fair to shame her. She's in the same boat as OP. Even though it was in a very odd way, at least she had the decency to tell the poor guy.

16 6
MrsFlowers 9

Thumbs up for the last post of your comment.. But I hope you realize you sound like you have/had one.

5 7
MzZombicidal 36

Luckily, #136, I don't or never have, but I don't judge those who have. I'm also not a fan of shaming people more promiscuous with others. Though, to be fair, they were pretty dumb for not using a condom anyways (unless they did and it wasn't effective)

10 5
ColonelCusswords 24

#132 some people get stds like that but this chick is probably a dirty *****. So tone the **** down and let the guy say what he thinks

3 14
limabeans101029 20

How would you know that she's a "dirty *****"? For all we know, she may have slept with one guy a while ago and contracted chlamydia from that. It only takes one time to get an STD so we don't know how many people she might have slept with.

11 3
doemetoch 28

And even if she slept with several people, that's her business, no reason to call her a "dirty *****". (Although especially when having multiple sexual partners, not using a condom is a bad idea!)

6 2
FuckIt100_P 2

Some of you people get too damn butt hurt about these comments XD lmfaooo you're trying to prove a point on a comedy based website? Losssserrrrrrr

2 2
slipstreak 10

At least she was creative about it.

3 2
cynicalsatireman 12

she should have sent this text first. Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I'm a *****. Protection maybe.

2 13
skittyskatbrat 19

If he hadn't been a man-**** himself his package would have been wrapped. God knows how many baby-daddies he'd have if he'd been born female. The song part sucks...but the rest is total YDI.

6 14
mccrightp 29

That sucks op! At least she bellied up to the bar and told you.

4 0
ColonelCusswords 24

Chlamydia only drastically effects women making them infertile. Its also easy to cure. Just go to the doctor for treatment

1 6