Miscellaneous: Oh no…

Oh no…

By x.x - 06/07/2014 05:09 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 403

You deserved it 5 767

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 195

You deserved it 8 972

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 6 897

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 11 385

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 918

You deserved it 5 873

By NoBasement4U - 26/11/2015 20:24 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 427

You deserved it 2 133

By twoheadedboy - 06/05/2009 20:46 - Canada

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 565

You deserved it 5 015

By antiqued - 20/12/2012 05:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 093

You deserved it 3 099

By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 678

You deserved it 36 219

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 921

You deserved it 1 205

By socreepedouticanteven - 27/10/2014 00:05 - United States - Procious

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 508

You deserved it 6 168

itwasthedognotme 14

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:31

That image probably burnt your eyes more than the soap...

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:34

I think we have a winner for next weeks ILLUSTRATED FML.

Comments

outthelabyrynth 21

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:30

Ah, that's just bad luck. Sorry OP :(

Starponer 7

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:34

what does "OP " mean?

ukeandfoodislife 19

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:36

44: octopus penis duh

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:37

Optimus Prime!

tartar18 21

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:40

original poster

illegalbeagle69 23

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:45

Orange pussy

ndaguanno 17

Monday 7 July 2014 2:44

Original poster #44

CB_LAZ3 11

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:30

Oh god please no

Blaisey 22

Sunday 6 July 2014 21:48

Your picture makes that comment even worse

SemiAuto 21

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:31

At least you got the soap out of your eyes?

junkman6 22

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:06

Id rather have soap in my eyes than my dad's old ball sweat. That's just me though.....

doodlecloud 26

Sunday 6 July 2014 21:08

It's unlikely she even did. Only way to properly get soap out is to rinse with water...clean or dirty cloth, this was always a stupid idea.

JennaNGood 21

Monday 7 July 2014 2:48

Yeah she got the soap out, and ushered in some pink eye in the process.

trell000 13

Monday 7 July 2014 9:47

Or shit stains...

itwasthedognotme 14

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:31

That image probably burnt your eyes more than the soap...

cina5 19

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:31

At least your eyes aren't burning anymore. Lol

blake1015 24

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:34

I don't think we can know that for sure.

gjikvtj 18

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:35

Thanks Blake

AnonymousFunFMLs 18

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:36

Whether or not OP got the soap out of their eyes, I'm not 100% sure they're feeling better...

Helpfulman 17

Monday 7 July 2014 5:36

OP might have tore out his eyes after seeing that.

TaylorWhiteGirl 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:31

Shouldn't you have had a towel nearby?

NeatNit 32

Sunday 6 July 2014 21:56

why would you want to use a cloth/towel anyway? wouldn't washing it out with water be the most logical solution?

dragonrider1959 18

Sunday 6 July 2014 22:01

Logic goes out the window when soap is in your eyes

azyjazy713 11

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:32

Definitely a wtf freak-out moment. At least you could wash it off quickly in the shower. Time to invest in a laundry hamper

Llama_Face89 33

Sunday 6 July 2014 23:42

Think OP's dad uses the same kind of laundry hamper I do. Corner of the Room brand.

gjikvtj 18

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:32

I bet you were panting you were so angry

leary96 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:56

Except for the fact that humans don't pant

rabechan 17

Sunday 6 July 2014 21:47

Humans can pant, dear

cdgrayson 21

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:32

Well that's not too shitty, I hope...

JBChristian 47

Monday 7 July 2014 4:26

Of course it was shitty. Shitty enough to cover for and loose any and all of the collection of shitty jokes for the rest of FML history.

JessieTaft 17

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:33

I'm so sorry OP

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 42 710

The Top

Today, after I sold the bulk of my employer-granted stocks last week, assuming its the highest price the stock would reach in a while, it's now nearly 30% higher to the price I sold at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 409

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 811

You deserved it 148

Today, I sent a polite yet strongly-worded email to one of my corporate clients in which I expressed my irritation at being asked the same question by the same team for the 4th day in a row. I ended it with "Regards!" but accidentally swapped the 'g' with a 't'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 489

You deserved it 1 767

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 038

You deserved it 3 496

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 3 129

Oh no…

Same thing different taste

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