Transportation: Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then...

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 2 457

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Same thing different taste

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 52 215

By Sarah - 12/06/2012 16:59 - United States - Pipersville

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 874

You deserved it 2 810

By Anonymous - 05/11/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 829

You deserved it 4 205

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 11:34 - United States - Macungie

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 993

You deserved it 4 347

By carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 225

You deserved it 6 352

By hobosarea-holes - 14/08/2010 23:10 - United States

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 3 776

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 21:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 801

You deserved it 2 175

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 3 448

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 379

You deserved it 3 614

Thanks dude!

By Megan - 11/07/2023 12:00

Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 231

ollie179 21

Saturday 18 February 2012 12:05

BLARGH! Spare change sir?

iamray 2

Saturday 18 February 2012 12:02

seems like a fair trade to me.

Comments

perdix 29

Saturday 18 February 2012 13:18

He's going to need to replace the food he just lost on your car. Or, more likely, the booze.

LeapOfFaith 8

Saturday 18 February 2012 13:26

Throw up on him and ask him for clothes.

dmann56 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 13:29

Dirty Mike and the Boys are up to no good again!

aFreedom127 9

Saturday 18 February 2012 13:43

Maybe he'll settle for a BJ from your GF.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 April 2016 9:09

Is that how you would handle it?

MineIsBigger 5

Saturday 18 February 2012 13:46

say youll pay him to clean your car but after he finishes just drive off without paying him

iloveweed69 7

Saturday 18 February 2012 14:31

Hobos these days

cash_monkey72 9

Saturday 18 February 2012 14:45

I think that was a threat

HeartAttackSmz 1

Saturday 18 February 2012 14:45

Tell him to wash it off and you'll pay him

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Saturday 18 February 2012 15:17

I have a sneaking suspicion any money you gave him would go towards the consumption alcohol.

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 18 February 2012 20:19

What makes ya think that?

SignUpisntcool 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 15:24

I would have went about 15 mph

SignUpisntcool 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 15:26

Sorry, I meant to say that I would have went 15mph then hit him.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 833

You deserved it 7 159

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 93 901

Today, I’ve been living in Poland for three months now. I had the brilliant idea to take out the trash at midnight after washing my hair. A minute later, my hair was completely frozen and I even managed to break some of it off. I can confirm that it was -30 °C. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 244

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 454

You deserved it 2 573

Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 248

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 749

You deserved it 4 532

Same thing different taste

Thanks dude!

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