Miscellaneous: Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the...

By kay - 01/06/2012 21:08 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 979

You deserved it 4 358

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By I_Am_The_Edge - 11/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 734

You deserved it 865 756

Leave me alone

By re2K5 - 25/07/2009 16:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 193

You deserved it 28 646

By Josh - 06/03/2015 00:25 - United States - Fenton

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 7 849

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 269

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 3 573

By keerta_fml - 04/05/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 439

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 21:50 - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 513

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 14:00 - Belgium

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 4 166

What a tool

By kash - 01/06/2015 18:14 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 070

You deserved it 3 216

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 612

melikeyturtles 3

Saturday 2 June 2012 5:57

Dont mess with homeless people. They will kick your a** and not care about consequences. They have nothing to lose.

ICastillo 24

Saturday 2 June 2012 5:57

Your lucky it wasn't dirty mike and the boys those homeless guys will have sex in your car.

Comments

Inferring 7

Saturday 2 June 2012 6:01

Does that mean the world is going to end on December? Dang, the Mayans were right.

AH1Zviper 15

Saturday 2 June 2012 6:07

That's kinda offensive to Charlie Sheen. He isn't a homeless crazy guy, he's just a stoned crazy guy.

friedchickenpie 14

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:11

"I have one gear--go!" ("Are you bi-polar?") "I'm bi-winning. I win here, win there, win everywhere." ("So I hear you like to party.") "What's not to love?" "I'm like a total freakin' rockstar--from Mars."

EG14_fml 8

Saturday 2 June 2012 6:07

Gotta love them hobos, helpin people get into their cars and whatnot. How nice.

jellycorn 13

Saturday 2 June 2012 14:34

And exercise as well! A round of applause to all the hobos!

onlychildFTW 33

Saturday 2 June 2012 6:08

Ahh crazy homeless guys. It isn't bad enough they have bad hygiene but they now rant about the Mayans.

quontag 15

Saturday 2 June 2012 6:10

Well on December 21 you will wish you listened to him.

perdix 29

Saturday 2 June 2012 6:13

He was just trying to give you some important information: Don't waste your money on a 2013 calendar!!!! Ignorant ingrates like you ought to be stabbed.