Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend... - FML

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Spicy

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 684

You deserved it 3 128

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 241

You deserved it 2 963

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 011

You deserved it 1 790

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 349

By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 783

You deserved it 9 517

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 438

You deserved it 8 032

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 18 672

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 334

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Spicy

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 168

You deserved it 8 240

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 286

You deserved it 29 243

Next

Top comments

dramaelf 37

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:16

No pressure, then.

FalloutScrolls 25

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:20

Sounds like real keeper to me. Totally not crazy. Nope. Not one bit.

Comments

Trilith59 14

Sunday 26 July 2015 10:18

I'm from Quebec too in Canada, and there's a lot of crazy bitch I can confirm...

Wolfipoo 31

Sunday 26 July 2015 17:28

That sucks OP, hope you dodged knife before she did it.

tiredofwaiting 25

Sunday 26 July 2015 18:50

Totally mood killer.

fuckoffcunt 2

Sunday 26 July 2015 19:44

she should give better head

hlmorg3 9

Sunday 26 July 2015 20:00

Does she seriously expect you to cum after 30 seconds?

Badkarma4u 17

Sunday 26 July 2015 21:07

You make a comment like that about my balls, you dont get to touch them ever again.

afallingstar 22

Sunday 26 July 2015 22:09

She must be doing it wrong...

NDForever1 14

Sunday 26 July 2015 23:57

At least you get a ******* >_>

linzhart333 8

Monday 27 July 2015 1:32

Lol she thinks she's that good...

Razell 13

Monday 27 July 2015 17:54

Run away! Run away!

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