Intimacy: Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered...

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 064

You deserved it 4 922

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 4 185

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 3 325

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 001

You deserved it 4 478

Where you been?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 02:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe i'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 106

By im_radd - 21/01/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 763

You deserved it 47 093

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 278

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 591

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 13 692

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 743

You deserved it 5 875

Jae_Hellyun 17

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:05

Next time he goes to kiss you offer a handshake...

Steve95401 49

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:08

Bite his lips next time so that they will be both bruised and swollen.

Comments

kilarbos 14

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:21

Also known as "heteronormativity."

WitEluded 13

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:23

If your lips are bruised after making out, you're doing it wrong

wolfy_fml 5

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:28

Totally. It amazes me that so many people never check the details to see if the poster put their gender or location. I always see comments assuming the OP of whatever FML it is, is American when it clearly states otherwise sometimes.

Louie_217 9

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:29

Hahaha damn that's messed up but I'll probably do the same thing lol

sunnyray812 42

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:41

What a ******* douche. That's not at all funny and can get you into serious trouble. Dump his ass. You deserve someone who DOESN'T think whining abuse as a prank is funny.

brittaaany_93 38

Thursday 5 February 2015 4:37

There's always that one comment telling the OP to dump their partner...

Axel5238 29

Thursday 5 February 2015 5:23

True and it is normally an over reaction though I think joking about spousal abuse isn't something to joke about especially, when them saying that as a joke could be taken seriously and actually impact their life should someone report it.

sunnyray812 42

Thursday 5 February 2015 5:37

This is a serious issue. He could get locked up and have his future wrecked all by a joke. If I was in his shoes, I'd get out of that relationship immediately. His boyfriend should've use his brain and thought about what this could do to OP.