Intimacy: Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered...

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 057

You deserved it 4 921

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 4 183

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 101

You deserved it 3 325

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 994

You deserved it 4 478

Where you been?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 02:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe i'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 106

By im_radd - 21/01/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 763

You deserved it 47 088

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 266

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 588

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 13 688

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 740

You deserved it 5 874

Jae_Hellyun 17

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:05

Next time he goes to kiss you offer a handshake...

Steve95401 49

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:08

Bite his lips next time so that they will be both bruised and swollen.

Comments

johannah1993 7

Wednesday 4 February 2015 22:29

My Windows Phone app doesn't show location.

anyoldnamewilldo 23

Wednesday 4 February 2015 22:49

My boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident a few months ago and we were telling everyone that I hit him for not making me sandwich. We had fun with it and people got a laugh once we told them the truth. If it really bothers you though, you should talk to him about it making you uncomfortable.

syed121417 22

Wednesday 4 February 2015 23:09

That's not funny and is very strange behavior. Domestic violence is no laughing matter so I don't know why he would think it would be funny to tell people that he's a victim, basically. Does he want people to think you are a bad person, or is he actually joking and didn't think they believed him?

Thors_Hammer9999 17

Wednesday 4 February 2015 23:37

"Pow! Right in the kisser!"

Gauzy21 12

Thursday 5 February 2015 0:55

Let's just hope his penis doesn't turn purple as well.

MistaBlista 9

Thursday 5 February 2015 1:43

"Pow right in the kisser"

Matteo_xxi 14

Thursday 5 February 2015 4:52

You should hit him.. Lol

0neiros 14

Thursday 5 February 2015 5:24

Next time he pulls that, tell people you hit him because he cheated on you with the poolboy.

militarybrat 21

Thursday 5 February 2015 5:56

He does realize domestic violence isn't funny? Does he WANT people to hate you? Geez. FYL and let him know it offends you. Also, if you are under 18 someone can report you for assault. Over 18 he would have to file for it