Intimacy: Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking...

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By Lockedinroom - 05/02/2013 16:18 - United States

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 416

You deserved it 13 926

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 200

You deserved it 1 284

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 083

You deserved it 16 440

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 223

You deserved it 37 106

By unknown - 13/12/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 388

You deserved it 3 135

By Anonymous user - 09/08/2018 06:00

Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 2 963

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 823

You deserved it 7 663

Earbleach

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 438

You deserved it 5 583

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 2 761

By Damian - 22/04/2011 11:11

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 998

You deserved it 6 667

Naked truth

By Gerry0 - 05/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 389

darlinjai 18

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:07

Maybe you need to switch things up a bit...

ThatPlankton 15

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:06

Did she figure that out by your socks?

Comments

kingsian 15

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:14

Damn OP switch it up a little bit. If you be to predictable it's easy from them to mess your "session" up.

beannlove 7

Tuesday 5 February 2013 20:41

its easier for them to interrupt when they dont know its happening.. if they know whats going on chances are they are more than likely going to leave OP alone, as im sure it would be just as embarrassing for his parents to walk in on him as it would for him to be walked in on

kingsian 15

Wednesday 6 February 2013 0:33

That maybe true unless he has messed up parents who would think its a joke to interrupt him

igive 29

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:16

Just do it when they aren't home.

shorty6823 28

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:59

The urge to do it doesn't always hit when they're home alone, unfortunately.

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:19

So, if you are taking care of business in your room, why are you wasting water in the shower? If you were jacking off in the shower, the water usage would be an "investment."

poccocurantes 7

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:39

He must be catholic and it's so hard to get clean afterwards.

ideasrule 13

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:20

Seriously, why are you NOT doing it in the shower? The shower erases all evidence, and unless someone installs a video camera, nobody will ever know.

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 6 February 2013 7:35

#16 ...you obviously don't pay the bills where you live... 1/2 hour + showers every day cost a lot of money

Lionesse 15

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:23

Well. Guess this means you have to change your ways... Like a different place, now that your parents have caught on to your.. uhm.. extracurricular :)