Intimacy: Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me...

By BluBaller - 06/04/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 5 903

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 582

You deserved it 49 792

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 292

You deserved it 4 017

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 968

You deserved it 8 441

By Naked and Afraid - 17/08/2018 23:00 - United States - New Braunfels

Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 227

You deserved it 464

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 81

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 19 408

By erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 7 036

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 6 827

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 784

You deserved it 995

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 015

You deserved it 5 893

BadPinkKitty07 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 16:06

Spain cockblocked you. hehe.

jamesSIII 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 16:15

You should have jizzed on her homework. Oh wait...

Comments

CollegeGirrl18 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 19:27

Ohh.. Well, Must not have been good.

TheNiz 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 19:37

dump her for being a tease!

Simplyjulie 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 20:02

lmfao haha I love teasing.. soo fun.. and maybe if u guys start treating us girls with respect... HELLO!

klarissasmiles 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 20:26

well, why don't you initiate it. or tell her to wait to do her homework. or initiate it after her homework... or TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. dumbass.

nelm88 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 20:49

maybe its just lacking sex for him, shes probably preoccupied with the spanish tutor

Jodster07 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 21:38

once in a while you need to take control for yourself $

Tjack8 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 21:53

dude Spain **** blocked you and so did your girl! dump the tease and move on with your life

Ucla_cupcake 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 21:58

Lol sounds like something I would do. At least in terms of teasing and the Spanish hw. I would tease, but then I would help him relieve. Then again, my bf enjoys it when I tease him. =) OP, y tu novia si habla el español? O esta aprendiendo?

HeXr 22

Tuesday 6 April 2010 22:42

are your hands broken? use those. because it seems your girlfriend doesn't enjoy doing it with you.

punqstr 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 23:21

the trick is to stop first. you most girls will get on a power trip and decide to **** with you. they get you turned on and when the get you really worked up then stop to leave you hainging. it's to keep you "wanting more". the trick is to stop them first. that leaves them hot and bothered and wanting more. then a few mins later you work them up again and stop when they get excited. do it 3 or 4 times going a littel further each time. she will BEG you to plow her.