Work: Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless...

By Username - 11/08/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 2 726

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 2 008

By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 749

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

By skygardens - 21/08/2018 15:00

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 234

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 4 060

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 071

Thanks for all your help

By jruth7 - 15/05/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 026

You deserved it 3 698

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

hannahtaskey 9

Friday 12 August 2011 9:18

probably the best 5 months of his life.

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 12 August 2011 9:19

Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog

Comments

oxxxjackyxxxo 3

Saturday 13 August 2011 7:07

thats a pretty lucky bum tho ^_^

sharkwkrox 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 7:18

That's honesty hilarious

laughsalot55 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 8:20

Awww! You go work in the army and some loser has to break in.. Wow that sucks/:

dtorok3 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 15:46

Wow that sucks

ACandelaria_209 1

Saturday 13 August 2011 18:54

Sorry to hear about that, but thank you for your service! God bless you

ishida1235 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 2:59

What service wasting our tax money over nothing

katalatar 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 20:19

he's not homeless if he has a house... sounds like a former homeless guy...

sk8rgrl1303 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 13:26

you should of had someone check on your house from time to time, but no one knows these things are going to happen.

Andrea0587 2

Sunday 14 August 2011 14:30

that sucks, fighting for the people that thinks you deserve this, that sucks even more. thank you for your services!

Daughterofavet 1

Sunday 14 August 2011 16:31

I sorry that must have really sucked. I hope you scared the shit out of him!

pplkillr 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 22:01

beat the living shit put of him. go usmc on his ass, literally

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 077

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 123

You deserved it 40 855

The Top

Today, after I kissed girl last night, who is pretty but who I don't really like, I'm going out with her tonight, and I feel more pissed than happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 1 482

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 303

You deserved it 8 420

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train looked like he was about to be sick. I quickly handed him the nearest bag I could find, a bag full of my lunch for that day. Safe to say he held nothing back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 568

You deserved it 3 552

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 024

You deserved it 5 442

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 350

You deserved it 38 552

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 140

You deserved it 2 600

Same thing different taste

Thanks for all your help

Pleased to meet you

Top comments

Comments