Work: Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless... - FML

By Username - 11/08/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 2 726

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Same thing different taste

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 2 008

By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 749

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

By skygardens - 21/08/2018 15:00

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 234

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 4 060

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 071

Thanks for all your help

By jruth7 - 15/05/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 026

You deserved it 3 698

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Friday 12 August 2011 9:18

probably the best 5 months of his life.

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 12 August 2011 9:19

Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog

Comments

storm1217 5

Monday 15 August 2011 3:13

Did he keep the place clean?

alinka_fml 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 1:45

maybe it's your woman's new bf lol

robertsa426 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:03

I suppose that's better than coming home to find your wife sleeping with him and she takes all your money and leaves.

Arch27 27

Wednesday 17 August 2011 15:05

You have two options, really. 1 - Ask them to leave. Offer to give them a lift to the shelter. If they refuse, call the cops. 2 - Allow them to stay, help them get cleaned up and re-established in society. The homeless are people who have had something traumatic happen to them. Usually they can't help their circumstances. Be sympathetic, but don't be a sucker. Some of them did it to themselves.

Magnimus 4

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:16

What are you retarded? Why the hell did you not get a babysitter? Plenty of college students will do that job dirt cheap. Let me guess, they stole all your plumbing and electrical wiring, as well as anything of value in the house. You are penny wise and pound foolish. Dumbass.

SittingInTheSky 6

Thursday 1 September 2011 19:52

A babysitter....... for a house????????? Christ you're retarded.

Magnimus 4

Thursday 18 August 2011 9:20

I'm a former service member too BTW; but why the hell would you leave your house unattended that long? That's retarded.

missbadluk 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 23:54

i completely agree with #175. thank you for your services. (dont mind the MANY ungreateful americans) ps...i woulda whooped thay fools ass!

matthewbowers88 1

Monday 2 January 2012 14:32

I hope he was respectful with your things, throw him out but dude you seriously helped the guy, he could have been on the streets. as a military man i assume its your nature to help people

Lookinforlove10 1

Friday 1 June 2012 7:42

Good thing it wasnt a year deployment or he would of legally owned your house.

jtaylor991 6

Wednesday 6 June 2012 3:30

as long as they lefy my house in good condition i might be ok with this. i'm nice :) still awkward for u tho...

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The Top

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 285

You deserved it 2 167

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 10 698

Today, I was driving to a gas station because I'd noticed I was almost on empty. Literally a block away from the gas station, my car broke down in the middle of an intersection, and I had to push my car to the side of the road, only to be questioned by police for "suspicious behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 205

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 188

You deserved it 5 040

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 768

You deserved it 4 872

Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 3 942