Work: Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless... - FML

By Username - 11/08/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 2 726

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Same thing different taste

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 2 008

By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 749

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

By skygardens - 21/08/2018 15:00

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 234

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 4 060

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 071

Thanks for all your help

By jruth7 - 15/05/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 026

You deserved it 3 698

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Friday 12 August 2011 9:18

probably the best 5 months of his life.

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 12 August 2011 9:19

Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog

Comments

hottiewitdamesse 8

Friday 12 August 2011 15:19

At least you made him very happy :)

SecretlyEvil9792 22

Friday 12 August 2011 15:28

FYL.

mrjude 3

Friday 12 August 2011 15:33

He understood that you were serving your country, so he figured he'd do you a favor and take care of your home.

vivalavida9111 0

Friday 12 August 2011 15:50

what a nice way to welcome a soilder home.

shocky377_fml 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:10

Whats with the antiflood protection?!

professorR6 0

Friday 12 August 2011 17:08

then technically he wasn't homeless, was he?

j_cat187 19

Friday 12 August 2011 18:08

Get a giant ******* mousetrap

anarchywolf23 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:24

dude, you drank the kool aid, you pay the price

Friaza 29

Friday 12 August 2011 18:39

Looks like somebody found a new room mate!

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 12 August 2011 19:25

-122 I thought of that but I didn't want to just blast a random one. On second thought I could have said solider, but that would ruin the first reply.

StopDropNRoll 11

Friday 12 August 2011 21:38

I don't see how Starcraft applies to this discussion

balljoints 8

Friday 12 August 2011 19:37

I guess that that homeless guy must have been some disappointed to see you back and know that he just lost his new found home. Back to the streets for him.

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The Top

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

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You deserved it 160

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 112

You deserved it 330

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 983

You deserved it 3 319

Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 325

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 483

You deserved it 166 718

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 229

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 315

You deserved it 1 904