Intimacy: Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 8 205

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 210

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 11 161

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 244 072

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 109

You deserved it 2 156

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 132

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 40 629

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 237

You deserved it 2 962

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 457

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 017

You deserved it 8 042

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 7 146

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:23

My favourite part is how she just left when you guys were done. You didn't have to pay for that sex, right? I can't imagine what runs through a hooker's mind when you tell her, "Don't wake my parents..."

xxmollyxx 25

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:23

How the hell did she manage that?

Comments

amarv01 1

Monday 11 July 2011 18:43

lol hahahahhaha

manbearpig7173 0

Monday 11 July 2011 18:45

I guess we should put that position in the "do not try" list

kristindabomb 12

Monday 11 July 2011 18:49

You had to go and wake your parents? you had sex w/a girl in their house not to mention you needed to wake them up so they could take you to the dr? how old are you? Ydi

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 11 July 2011 19:36

Perhaps he was in too much pain to drive safely? Or he said, "I had an accident, I'm going to the E.R." and they insisted on coming with, like, oh, anyone who cared about their kid would, no matter how old he was? Lots of adult kids live with their parents into their 20s, because hey, rent is expensive, and many people are saddled with large amounts of educational debt post-college. The parents aren't stupid. Even if it doesn't come up in conversation, if OP has an SO he's seeing regularly, his parents probably have a fairly good idea that sex is happening. If they're clueful enough, as many parents are, they realize that their son is old enough to make his own decisions about that kind of thing.

IlyGia 0

Monday 11 July 2011 19:32

Was she fat?

youssefshr 0

Monday 11 July 2011 21:30

Fuke ur self

doglver19 0

Monday 11 July 2011 21:58

is she fat?

effin_lame 1

Tuesday 12 July 2011 4:34

I made an account just to answer some questions... And no she wasn't fat hahah. Considering even a skinny chick is gonna weigh over 100 pounds, any girl can do some serious damage to your balls if handled improperly...