Miscellaneous: Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations,...

By idontbleedfromthere - 22/08/2012 23:10 - United States - Indio

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 973

You deserved it 2 183

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 318

By Anonymous - 20/02/2010 02:21 - Australia

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 657

You deserved it 4 246

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By anon - 22/05/2015 02:22 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 323

You deserved it 2 176

By BroadcitySF - 28/02/2016 03:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was mugged while changing my tampon. The mugger took everything, including the fresh tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 566

You deserved it 1 634

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 8 665

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 534

You deserved it 3 130

By luckycharmed - 17/06/2014 17:34 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 4 391

By germophobe - 02/09/2014 01:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 725

You deserved it 3 345

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 6 621

JustKittyKat 24

Thursday 23 August 2012 9:22

Your name is hilarious.

IOmnomHard 10

Thursday 23 August 2012 9:24

Imagine if you choked on it in your sleep and died...The police report would be something to see.

Comments

Dracoboxer357 35

Thursday 23 August 2012 10:01

Well Op, you have a few options: 1) Ignore her. Hopefully she'll grow bored with the stunts. May be the best choice. 2) Retaliate! One up her and do the same back....with a *****. Don't forget to take pictures.....just don't Ever sleep again after that. 3) Move. If you can't stand the bullshit, stop sticking around to take it. 4) Kill her! Actually, don't. You may not like your next roommate at the crowbar hotel any more than your current one now. Hope that helped, Op! Best of luck! ;P

Myo_fml 20

Thursday 23 August 2012 17:48

There should be the option of putting a USED tampon in the roommate's mouth versus a dry one.

Dracoboxer357 35

Thursday 23 August 2012 21:57

78- Doing that would go back to option 2) Don't Ever Sleep Again, if you value not Really suffering a very big personal violation. ;P The roommate is sticking tampons in OP's mouth, for nothing. Imagine what she Might do after something like That. Op might very well wake up tied to her bed naked with a live webcam feed broadcasting her reaction as the roommate tickles her feet and uses cloths pins on her nipples. Crazy seldom has it limits. Ponder that, and be very afraid. ;)

karmaababyy 5

Thursday 23 August 2012 10:19

You should return the favor and see how they like it.

wildsweetchild 19

Thursday 23 August 2012 10:38

Maybe your roommate just trying to help you with your drooling. ;)

2RaRa25 6

Thursday 23 August 2012 10:38

wow, that would old very fast. If you have your own room in the place, lock your door/get a new lock on your door. If you share the room--I have no advice cause I'd probably just leave that altogether.