Intimacy: Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend...

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 61 874

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 22 501

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

By drew_ar85 - 20/03/2010 16:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 6 693

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 112

You deserved it 22 198

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 169

You deserved it 8 240

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

The gift of insecurity

By where’d she learn it? - 20/10/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend gave me head for the first time. It was so good, I swear she sucked my soul into another dimension! I was snapped back to earth by the thought that no one sucks that good without years and years of practice. Now I can’t stop thinking about all the other dicks she’s sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 536

Bad timing

By Proprepourtant - 16/04/2011 11:28 - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 952

You deserved it 12 577

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 043

You deserved it 9 713

deathwishkid 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 12:16

"3 long months"? god, guys really cant take comittment unless their whistle's being blown can they?

Candisalis 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:55

What the heck?! How is that sweet? Three months is extremely quick for anything like that. Apparently, you're a ho.

Comments

Jezzababy 10

Thursday 21 February 2013 10:40

Hahahaha, what she didn't like that comment? I think it's a huge compliment if a guy says that

jkalan 5

Thursday 26 September 2013 4:35

what's so bad for that

messeduplife2 7

Thursday 20 February 2014 16:16

3 long months? Normal relationships don't just jump into sexual stuff that fast. Most people get to know each other first.

Shamandalie89 32

Wednesday 9 September 2015 8:54

I'm sorry, "normal" relationships? Just because you prefer to wait that long doesn't mean those who don't aren't "normal".

hunt3009 16

Monday 31 March 2014 0:19

Hey, sounds like a compliment, if a bit weird.

Ilikethings9 8

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:44

Aw you poor thing 3 "long" months, be lucky you even got a girlfriend. I hope she did it because she wanted too and not because of you.

thatonetribute 31

Tuesday 1 September 2015 17:42

Hopefully she smacked you, because YDI.

zacadrien0899 23

Monday 9 November 2015 11:53

My girlfriend and I started having sex three months in, it works differently for everyone. commitment or not, I think love plays a part in everything happening in a relationship. But you both have to be fully ready and comfortable with each other.