Kids: Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed...

By raebay - 05/11/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 911

You deserved it 8 367

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 290

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 778

You deserved it 817

Little bundles of joy

By SD. - 15/05/2021 16:06 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 173

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 435

Stinky

By Carolina R-h - 18/06/2019 16:30

Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 248

So sweet

By Aislinn - 12/02/2022 12:01

Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 196

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 05:01

Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 218

The sweet smell of…

By Anonymous - 04/03/2017 14:00

Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 947

You deserved it 6 559

UpYourself 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 9:22

Haha kids...

Krystakitty 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 9:29

Its just what Kids do...as a mom you sjhould know to put a towel under her if shes on your bed and if shes prone to taking of her nappy she should have had trousers or a vest with the buttons done up at the bottom common sense really

Comments

misspeg 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:00

Yeah, what everyone else is saying... YDI for having a baby. Why post this on FML? Grow up.

Bob31_fml 4

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:17

that's why i'm never having a baby

skittles1091 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:39

Aaah. Don't you love kids?! Just wait. They're cute now, but once they become teenagers, you're really screwed. I'd invest in a shotgun for the highschool/boyfriend years. Have fun!

kernelkat 16

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:47

This isn't a FML. That's just what babies do.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 5 November 2009 15:01

This lack of an FML has inspired me to start a dead baby joke section: Q - What's the difference between $20,000 and 20 dead babies? A - I don't have $20,000 in my closet. Q - What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? A - You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 5 November 2009 18:28

Q - What's worse than a trashcan full of dead babies? A - One live baby towards the bottom of the can. Q - What's even worse than that? A - The live baby is eating its way to the top. Q - What's the best way to get a dead baby out of a blender? A - Salsa chips.

Flutist 3

Friday 6 November 2009 6:37

What's worse than ten babies in one dumpster? One baby in ten dumpsters. How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it's head. How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

500_error 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 15:07

YDI for expecting your baby to crap in a diaper. How would *you* like to be forced to wear your poop? Your baby is just being smart. Even newborns are fully capable of occasionally using a potty if you give them opportunities. Google "elimination communication" -- give it a try sometime!