Kids: Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked...

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 10:32 - United States - Levelland

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 803

You deserved it 2 707

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Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 099

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

By you ripped them off ages ago - 17/08/2014 06:15 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 062

You deserved it 16 332

Build your own

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 1 727

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 951

You deserved it 5 821

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 191

By Naomi - 10/11/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 569

You deserved it 4 915

Asshat

By Julissa - 25/02/2021 00:30

Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 123

By mickey1928 - 12/01/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 2 910

911 what's your emergency?

By midwify - 05/01/2015 17:58 - Denmark - Asaa

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 307

You deserved it 7 684

greenie213 23

Monday 29 October 2012 18:50

"As soon as the penis grows in sir."

tygerarmy 35

Monday 29 October 2012 18:47

Girls can be circumcised, but all forms of circumcision are outdated. But why are you surprised, you had a baby with this guy?

Comments

neurodoc 1

Monday 29 October 2012 19:59

Anything goes here.. it's "Tayxas"

Czech_Zidane 14

Monday 29 October 2012 20:00

I do not need a circumcision. I take a shower daily, you know :-)

crazytwinsmom 25

Monday 29 October 2012 20:02

Sarcasm, I hope.

cool_story_bro14 4

Monday 29 October 2012 20:09

Congratulations!

tulipshelly 5

Monday 29 October 2012 20:35

Is he that stupid?

Oliver_Bento 3

Monday 29 October 2012 20:45

3- Good Luck with Sandy! I'm visiting family in PA right now

Billy_Badass 4

Monday 29 October 2012 21:03

I don't know why people routinely circumcise their children these days. My mom told me that when I was born, they just took me and did it, my parents didn't have a choice (I'm 41). But when my own son was born, I refused to circumcise him. My wife was all concerned that he might have problems with his penis when he's an old man, to which I said, "If that's so, then he can deal with it then. By then we'll probably be dead."

Futacy 29

Monday 29 October 2012 21:42

Bitch got a penis! Lol

BobbieH 19

Monday 29 October 2012 21:50

Female circumcision isn't normally practiced in the US as its considered mutilation. I don't think your husband meant that though! Does he have trouble finding your "little man in the boat" too?! Because that's what gets cut in a female circumcision.