Intimacy: Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my...

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By e_edge - 05/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 8 847

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

By Needasafe1234 - 25/09/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 036

You deserved it 46 814

By wasntme - 30/03/2009 10:14 - Netherlands

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 584

You deserved it 7 452

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 72

Misguided

By baller - 08/06/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 997

You deserved it 92 933

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 179

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 887

You deserved it 593

Good for you

By Fergie - 08/10/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 112

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 253

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 4 475

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 810

You deserved it 71 749

marinus_fml 19

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:57

Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)

Miss_Michaela 10

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:59

Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.

Comments

pike1346 3

Wednesday 8 June 2011 19:08

so what. blow one of them. then tell your mom

son4life 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 21:27

haha well hey practice defiantly makes perfect Hun an good head never hurt anyone rite

faithe92 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 15:57

congratulations

Kulla 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:48

oh damn come show me

DaniBee420 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:38

lmao!!

xOashleymarie 0

Friday 17 June 2011 22:07

My mother has told me that once after I blew up a couple of balloons one right after the other....

rroxie124 5

Monday 20 June 2011 13:57

Haha(: Thats great

ella868 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 16:40

did your brothers fruend smirk and look at you sideways?

fml2unknown 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 23:31

my mom says to me as im doing a beer bong that I like sucking things, response was I got ut from her, right dad lol finish what she started

Quinzel_fml 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 11:36

tru dat

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